Hope Floats

Labor Day

2011-09-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

The colors popped out at me in the endless aisle of children's clothes and as I came closer and closer to the dress I knew that the fabric alone was the thing drawing me in. The dress was bright, and bold, with a print that was beautiful. Made by Hanna Anderson, it looked like it would end just below the knees for a girl wearing size 16. The problem was that Jenny wore size 6 and I wasn't even sure if the fabric was worth buying a dress I could never use. But even so, something about it seemed unusual enough for me to give it a chance, so I looked at the price.

I brought it home for under two dollars and as I looked at it, it dawned on me that it might just work as a long dress for Jenny. Excited about the idea I called her in and checked the length, and lucky for me, it looked like it could work. Taking a pair of scissors to it, I snipped off the sleeves and brought the waist in about 4 inches. Then, I folded the edge around the arms and hinged in the skirt. Sewing up the torso seams, this project took about an hour from start to finish.

Dressing up, Hope.

Fathers day

2011-06-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

About half a mile down the road from us there is an open landscape of breathtaking fields. Filled with horses galloping and cows grazing it is a common place for our family to visit. We love to take walks there with our children and tend to do it as often as we can.

After getting ready for the day,we headed down our familiar road for the first time as a family of 6. Eugene was a proud dad, excited more then ever about children and about being a father to them.

It had been a hard couple of years but it was nice to see him take part in the most pure of moments. Taking part in our childrens laughter was something we were both appreciating a little bit more these days. To want to play with them instead of being happy when they were playing with each other has been something both of us were being challenged to do.

The nice thing is that great moments don't remember the regrets, they erase them, hope.

Crepe Cravings

2011-06-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

Recently, I found myself craving home where back in Canada, there were many weekends where I would wake up to Saturday morning crepes that my mom would be making. Soft, buttery goodness that I enjoyed with sour cream and tea. I have found that it takes a certain kind of crepe to be sour cream worthy. And for years I have tried to master my mother's take on them.

2 cups milk
1/2 tsp Baking powder
3 each eggs
2 cups flour
1 cup boiling water
Salt to taste
3 tbsp sugar
6 tbsp melted butter

In a medium bowl, begin with the milk and in the order above add an ingredient at a time to it. Whisking each one in before adding the next. In the end it you still feel that the mixture is too thin, extra flour can be added. The crepes are cooked on a hot buttered skillet, taken off heat when pouring batter and placed back on to cook.

I like them plain with sour cream or jam, but another way to serve them is with cottage cheese blended with enough sugar to make it sweet. I usually use the food processor for this, just because it helps to make a smooth consistency. And after you spread the cottage cheese on, feel free to sprinkle any combination of dried fruits. Roll it up and warm them on skillet. Lastly, once placed on a plate drizzle with heavy whipping cream. Unwhipped, is the secret to my moms special savory sauce.

Saturdays at home, hope.

Seven Pounds

2011-05-27T15:46:00.001-07:00

Mikka arrived into the world at 7 lbs and 6 ounces, eight twenty-two last Saturday morning. Since then it has almost been a week and I have been head over heels in love with her. It seems that although I have questioned weather or not I would have enough love for my child, I have found that as mothers we always do. That giving birth introduces us to a brand new love. One that is as curious as it is excited. Its the kind that brings back the butterflies in our stomachs and flirty small-talk. A world that is made up of soft sheets and powder. A place of nurture and comfort, always on our minds and always waiting for even just a moment to be together and to see each other. Even if its just from the corner of our eye, even if its just for a minute, and even if its to see them smile. Our desire is to show as much love as we feel, as much care as we can give, and as much of laughter as we can share.

Brand-spankin' new, hope

*Photography by Maria with Bumble Alley.

Bathroom Brushup

2011-05-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

It was time. My master bathroom needed some attention. And with only a days worth of work, I finally attacked some of the things that I have been meaning to do, just not getting to.

Towels wrapped in fabric and twine
This is great way to display guest towels without any additional expense. Using beautiful fabric and a little ribbon can give any white towel some added personality.

Hooks added for easier access
This can be an easy and inexpensive fix to towels that you use everyday. I found that just by giving them a place made the space look more purposeful.

Amenities placed on charger

Try using some of the things that you hold for special occasions. This mirrored charger wasn't even being used before I pulled it out, and now it pulls our things together.

Jewelry displayed

With out looking too clustered or messy, metals look great on metal. Look for shiny objects that you can display your jewelry on. Be as unconventional as possible.

An empty wall, dressed up
Just hanging up something you love to look at can be the answer you need for an empty wall. Especially a collection of something.

Pictures and Curtains, hung
My collection of dollies was finally put to use, as well as the curtains I had in a box for ages. I have found that most of the time, I have everything I need to freshen a room up. But very little the time to get to it.

Getting to it, hope.

Awaiting Mikka

2011-05-12T08:51:00.001-07:00

No matter the name, there is an opinion. There is always something more suited and most often declared better. Mikka's name was no exception. I wanted it to be part Russian, part American and part perfect. It needed to be her, even before we met her. It needed to have meaning but to also evoke the right emotion, suited for the appropriate time.

Coincidentally, I remember both days. It began after the ultra sound, when I finally made the anticipated call to my family and told them that indeed, it was going to be a girl. My younger sister, who seemed most interested in my pregnancy told me that her name choice was nothing more then perfect. Not too certain about the name, I shrugged "Mikaela" off until a couple weeks later when Jenny came home from school.

Mommy, she said. I know our baby's name. It needs to be "Mikaela".

A little shocked, I wondered if she had somehow overheard the last conversation with my sister. But from the look on her face I knew that her excitement could not have been faked, so I told her that it was a nice name and that we would consider it. Of course, she beamed happily at my response.

My dad came to visit us not too long after and bringing with him, his list of opinions. Unsatisfied with his proposals, I somehow stumbled upon a Russian site and with it, a short list of 10. I think it might have been a modern interpretation of some Traditional Russian names and with only a few options, "Mikka" was one of them. But even more then the name, I liked the definition the was worded so plainly beside it. God's Child.

Although the pieces fell together by themselves, it took a little more time for me to connect the dots and two weeks later it finally hit me that both the names could be one. Mikka-yla.

I ran the idea by with "Genius" and he loved it, but not at all for the reasons I thought, or even the reasons I have given. By far, the name won him over because of the first three letters. Meek.

That was that. Hope.

Envelope system

2011-05-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

In the book Financial University by Dave Ramsey, the envelope system contributes a lot to his beliefs for always paying in cash. He believes that having an envelope isn't just for storing cash, it is a way to have control of your money in the places that it should be going.

Taking his method and building a little on it, brought the idea for these adorable leather envelopes. I like the modern touch it has on something so simple but yet continually proven to have worked for decades.

Today, I think it goes perfect with my Calenders by Etto Design that hang on the wall beside them. It makes me feel just a little more organized, a little less stressed, and that much less cluttered.

Funny how an envelope can send a message to my brain and with it, bring forth inspiration. But of course I couldn't just share this with myself and at a recent brunch, I made one for each of the girls. Just a reminder that anything you can use, some one can use also, Hope.

Easter Morning

2011-04-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

We lounged in bed for a while, the sun streaming up against the walls of our bedroom. The moment seemed too perfect to even try to push us out of bed, so instead we blew wishes into the late morning. I wanted my favorite breakfast. Scrambled eggs and pasta, a simple but yet surprising satisfying dish that reminds me of my home, every time. It was one of the first things I learned to make when I was young.

Using fresh or already prepared pasta, warm it up on a skillet with a generous amount of butter. Add in the eggs, according to the amount of pasta you are making. After that, salt and pepper the dish while the eggs are being scrambled with the pasta. *This dish is pretty simple but you will find that the amount of butter and salt is crucial to either making this dish either a success or not.

After breakfast "Genius" wanted to take advantage of the wonderful weather by working on the yard. But for Jenny and I, it meant we had time to go and hand out some Easter Baskets to family and friends. The baskets were filled eggs and complimented by a hand made item for each child. And although my baskets were ready, I couldn't help but feel like adding a touch of baked goods.

Madeleine's are one of my favorite go-to cookies in last minute ventures. So it seemed like the perfect choice until I quickly realized that the recipe I liked was in a book that was being borrowed. Looking through Epicurus I came upon one that looked interesting enough to try. Unfortunately, I didn't have Lavender honey or the Almond flour that it needed. So with a few minor adjustments, it was a success. But next time, if I have lavender I want to grind it in with the almonds....

Brown Sugar and Honey Madeleine's

9 tablespoons unsalted butter
4 large egg whites, room temperature
1 1/3 cups powdered sugar
6 tablespoons all purpose flour
1/4 cup raw almonds
1 tablespoon honey

Special equipment: Madeleine pan

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter each madeleine mold in pan and dust with flour, tapping out excess. Melt 9 tablespoons unsalted butter in medium skillet over medium heat. Cook until butter turns golden brown, stirring often, 3 to 4 minutes. Set browned butter aside.

Next, using a food processor grind the powdered sugar and raw almonds together until the almonds are fine. About 3 minutes. *If you have some dried or fresh lavender, pulse some in.

Using electric mixer, beat egg whites, sugar, all purpose flour, and ground almonds in medium bowl until mixture is blended and smooth. Place honey in small microwave-safe bowl. Heat just to warm, 5 to 10 seconds. Beat honey into batter. Add browned butter; beat to blend. Spoon 1 tablespoon batter into each prepared madeleine mold.

Bake madeleines until tops are just dry and tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 12 minutes. Cool 5 minutes. Gently tap madeleines out of molds. Place on rack to cool slightly.

To prepare additional madeleines, wash pan and cool completely. Butter and flour molds and fill as directed above. Serve madeleines warm.

Hope.

Dear Journey

2011-04-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since the last time we talked, and it's amazing how much you have been on my mind. Each and every day I spent time with you, talking and getting to know you better. With that being said, I am so sorry for the way I handled our past conversation. A statement that seemed so simple to understand but came out in a frustration that was first triggered by anger and followed by sorrow.

I was watching you, along with others backslide into a pit of consuming guilt, tortured by ongoing choices, and then the fear of them. It seemed as natural to them as the weight of them on my shoulders. Pray for me they pleaded, as if a prayer would stop their poor decision making. As if the answer in their problems lied in the heart of my compassion. When actually it sounded more like an attempt to be rescued, because they didn't want to alter their behavior or open their mind. What they wanted was nothing more then Zedekiah wanted in Jeremiah. Release without remorse.

I felt the anger build up in me but this time I didn't persuade it to stop. I had a right. A sinful, human right to be mad. Mad that I stayed up half the night meditating on their personal behalf. Mad, that everything I hoped was not at all what it was. And perhaps it was because my lack of sleep, but as I sat in my pool of tears and tissues I saw myself frustrated with God and angry at myself.

I was anger with myself because I knew that I had judged them based on my own journey instead of remembering the paths of human weakness. The stubborn inclinations of our sinful hearts that don't give up until we give in. The constant need to wander and not restrain our feet. The stride we become a part of, that continually moves us backwards instead of forward. And even though it brings us only harm, it also has a way of making sense.

History has shown that we do not listen or pay attention. We follow our stubborn inclinations because for some messed up reason we trust them more. We do things that God doesn't command or mention, things that don't even enter his mind. (Jeremiah 19:5) and ignore his written promises to us. Promises that tell us that he can cure us of our backsliding, save us from the hands of the wicked, and redeem us from the grasp of the cruel. Until we are so over our heads that we need all of them.

So, you were right and I was wrong. I wasn't understanding you, because I had forgotten my own journey and the messed up places that used to be in. Thank you for helping me remember, not only my walk with him but also his promise. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And now, more then anything I want to believe in it for you, until you believe in it for yourself.

In Blessed life, week 9, I remembered the weaknesses in my journey to reach him, and the patience that he had with me.

No longer frustrated, hope.

First photo Shoot

2011-04-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

Maria and I sat on the floor of the craft room, sprawled out in between rolls of fabric. We had gotten together to create a vision of spring collections for our little girls. Bumble Alley http://bumblealley.blogspot.com/ was an opportunity that I was excited to be part of and we couldn't wait to put our heads together. It was like we knew that each of us could only offer a part to the whole picture, but together, we could make it something that was even bigger then us.

The inspirations came from the gray spring rains along side the pastel colors of Easter. With that said, this was our first photo shoot.

Captivating, hope.

Snow Fall

2011-04-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

Blessed life, week 7. Changed our family.

The rolling hills of fresh powder looked serene on the hill before us. The storm had piled over three feet of fresh snow in less then 24 hours and we were there, excited to be the first to make an imprint.

The kids were already digging in, jumping and rolling ahead of us, ready to explore the adventures that the mountain held. It seemed perfect, until the drastic turn of events where within minutes we had a lifeless body in our arms.

All it took was one throw, one hard surface, and one child to bring our trip to a screeching halt. Eugene was at the lower end of the hill, holding Derek. I was up a little higher, screaming for someone to hear me. "We need help. We need help!" was all I could think, but although my frantic cries seems to echo in my mind I was also unheard.

All I could do was cry out to my God, as I watched from the distance. Where from what I saw I will also never forget the state of my son. He was not breathing for the first minute, unresponsive the next, and moaning in the next two. His eyes were back and his body had no movement.

By the time I had a chance to slide to the bottom, I was thankful that he was screaming in pain. Breathing, at least. Feeling pain, at least. Recognizing us, at least. But even though I felt tremendous relief, we also didn't know how severe his injury was or could become.

Back at the lodge, we faced more uncertainty. The first aid staff, had already left for the day. The fire department would take as long as it would for us to drive to an urgent care facility and after much contemplation, we decided to wait a couple of hours to see if things would get better or worse.

In between hearing my son throw up for the next few hours, I went in and out of tears. I couldn't let him go or even see him shut his eyes without falling apart. I was so scared. I was so broken. And I had so many questions as well as regrets. But as the dark of the night fell upon our small room, I knew I also had to let go.

I could hear his deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling. Comforting me and then encouraging me to do the same. But somewhere deep, in a place that I have never been to before, I was aching. I could feel a pain that ran through my whole body with a tension that I couldn't break of out of. So much so that when I tried to breath, it felt more like I was gasping for air, whispering, "heal him" in between breaths.

I kept thinking about each minute of that day. Replaying the event, until I saw nothing else but the presence of God. I saw him strategically put us in a position where we were so close to help but yet not close enough to reach it. Until all we could really do, was reach out to him. It was almost like he stopped the activity of people and made sure that no one would see us, so that we had a better chance of looking for him.

It was like he placed me far enough away so that I would see the severity of the situation without seeing every detail of the moment. Almost like he knew every fear and thought that I would ever have or let live if I was exposed to the scene. So instead, he put my husband in a state of weakness and then challenged him with complete submission.

I began to see him occupying my other two kids. I began to firmly believe that before the black-out he also positioned my son's body in a way where his stomach first hit the small box he had in his pocket. I saw him right there, making a decision to put life back into a broken body. Bringing breath back into his lungs, healing to his stomach, memory to his mind, and peace inside of his heart. Until all we had left was a broken cardboard box filled to the top with innocent, 9- year old treasures.

I lay there long enough to feel like I could finally fall asleep, that nothing could go wrong because it already had a chance to. And that life's uncertainty had already been met by grace and mercy, by a God that loves his children.

With Easter only weeks away, it reminded me that he felt everything I felt as he watched his son from a distance as well. That he was just as hurt and broken as I was and that his gasps for air were nothing compared to mine. I can't even imagine.

How great is our God.

Hope.

Prophetic promises

2011-04-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

We were on to the next venture of our blessed life, with a few things that needed to surface.

We were in a week where God spoke directly to us through the use of people in our church and friends in our life. Throughout the whole week we were given words of encouragement, words of knowledge, and prophetic words of prayer.

We were uplifted in his purpose for our life. A life of promised prosperity. A season of prayers that were about to honored through the break through of our finances, business, and family. And a time of rejoicing and gladness. We saw the fullness that he wanted for our life and every part of us was excited to receive it.

I remember the words a little more clearly now. Don't reject the process.....Don't reject the process.....Don't reject the process. The words seemed to echo around us in the following week.

When prosperity was promised. No money was coming in.
When family unity needed to come together. Rivalry broke out.
When business opportunities were being prepared. His business took a hit.
When encouragement was trying to live. Emotions were being destroyed.
When plans to get away were attempted. Every thing was brought to a stop.

Each day brought an additional hurdle and the following week, despair hit our home even before we had a chance to really smile. Instead, we were a couple broken hearts that were ready to give up.

I guess it should have been an expected emotion because as we reflected on our week we saw how discouraged one would feel if you only hear his loving side instead of his parenting side. His promises to us was not to excite us but empower us. To be warriors for the kingdom, meant that we would need to fight. To kick the enemy off his feet, we would need to stand firm. And although I feel like a fool, I am also sure that God knew what was coming ahead of time.

Am I only a God nearby? And not a God far away? Do I not fill the heaven and Earth? My eyes watch them for their good and I will build them up and not tear them down. Hope.

Levels of love

2011-03-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

For week three of our "Blessed Life" I was reminded of what love is.

On Monday I had a visit from a girl I barely knew. But sitting on the couch, I found her to be easy to talk with. Probably because hitting common ground with mothers usually takes only a minute or two. But our kids were similar ages, our husbands were of similar type, and our struggles as mothers were real.

That day I remembered that having things in common brings people together. Not only does it unite us but it also sustains our relationships in the midst of our differences.

Love came back on Tuesday with a text. "Available today at noon" it said. Unlike the other girl, I knew her enough to feel connected with. The basics were already out of the way and when she came over we went a little deeper then where we have ever gone before. Speaking out about God and our relationship with him.

That day I remembered that love is spiritual. It is more than a feeling or a drive, it is a constant connection that had been joined by the very hand of God.

On Wednesday, I went out with a long time friend. We had watched each other grow in every area of our lives. I knew her. I knew that for her to feel special she didn't need a crowd. That she enjoyed change more if I held her hand and that she was in a season of discovering her own sense of style. I knew her enough that she didn't need to tell me what she would want for her birthday. I knew her enough to feel it.

That day I remembered that Love sees and knows every detail of our lives. It is the one who listens to the heart beat of our soul and knows even the smallest desire.

Thursday I went to Women Mentoring Women. As soon as I walked in, I felt welcomed. It was as if each person there saw me for all I could be, instead of every thing I wasn't. It was as if every walk of life, every season, and every road merged together to make it acceptable to be on. No one was out of place, because we were in a place of love. We were in God's house.

That day I remembered that Love encourages us to be who we are, where we are at, and where we are going. To see how our differences have the ability to create an interest and then produce a strength of empowerment to boost us forward.

On Friday, we had our friends over. They were a couple we had a lot of history with so it was exciting to have them come by. They were a laid back type so we sat by the fire and lounged on the couch, it felt as familiar as it would have with family. It was as if we were able to take off from the moment we left off from, without even missing a beat. Laughing and talking as if we had just been together yesterday.

That day I remembered that love is comfortable. It is familiar and easy to be with it.

On Saturday, we hung out with friends. They were a couple that had similar interests with both of us, so we cruised around downtown. Going out for lunch, grabbing a cup of coffee, even fitting in a little bit of shopping. Of course the men pretended to complain the whole time, keeping up to their image....I guess. But none-the-less, they helped us in our adventures to find a couple of amazing things.

That day I remembered that love explores. It enjoys discovering new things and having new adventures. When even the simple things are some how made exciting.

On Sunday, it was just us and our family. We enjoyed breakfast together. Watched T.V for a bit. And took a nap. Nothing was special. Nothing was different. It was just us. But yet all the same did it remind me that most importantly Love is, the everyday.

God is Love, Hope.

Bumble Ally

2011-03-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

When I met Maria I was struck by her genuine love for children and it didn't take long to see that her designs were inspirations that came from the very the core of her heart. It seemed that every part of her creativity echoed in her designs for Bumble Ally. As if the very work of her hands was the work of Jesus flowing out her and into the work of her needle. I couldn't be more blessed to not only know her but to share her experience of God in a different way. A way where the care of a child could stir up a delicate rose. Beautiful. Colorful. Purposeful. Would be one way to describe my friend. Thank you Maria, for making Bumble Ally more then a label but a place where things are just as gentle, simple, and pure, as you are. A place that embraces the season of children instead of overwhelms, bringing a sense of joy and lightness to each step.

I am excited that you have invited me to be a part of your vision. That you want to feature my new designs in your next line. That you believe in me and my ideas. Know that, each piece that I created, you inspired and I can't wait to see how you will bring to life a place where modern boys pair up with vintage girls. Children that live in the 21st century but embrace the past generation enough to respect both.

Vintage for her

Head band

Belt

Modern for Him

Tie

Hat

Bib

Looking forward, hope.

Following hope

2011-03-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

The second week of our financial peace looked a little different then a brand new sewing machine and cash in an envelope. But, all the same it came as another surprise from God.

It started on a Friday when I came into the shop, lunch bag in one hand, kid in another. It was a typical kind of day for me and I was excited to tell him that "We finally did it!" We, for the first time made our budget by not getting by with less but seeing how many opportunities we have been given to have everything.

Life was good for us, but it was about to get better. Because, as I handed him his lunch sack (unusually prepared the morning of) he announced that he wouldn't be eating it that day. He, my husband was sustaining himself from food. And then, as evening rolled around, I couldn't help but ask the question why?

Leadership he said, and although it came both unexpected, it had also been awaited. A leader, was exactly what I had been praying about. Some one to initiate daily prayer and be an example in devotion and scripture. Some one who would guide us through the storms by the quickened hand of God. And as my list of expectations grew in my ideas of an ideal "leader" I began to feel convicted. Quickly I realized that God had actually been waiting for me.

He had been waiting for me to have faith in my husband. To be some one that would walk along side of him and his ideas, instead of see the impossibility in them. And as I looked into his eyes I saw a motivation that walked right into his heart and was not letting go. I saw the kind of faith that settles in and doesn't kid around. By the look on his face, I knew that he was ready to trust in the Lord and I was finally ready to trust him.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. Whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 16: 7-8

Hope.

Macaroon Monday

2011-03-16T00:27:00.000-07:00

The thunder accompanied the rhythm of the rain. My feet were propped up on a window sill, as I sat comfortably on a wooden chair, leaning against a fluffy pillow. The blanket was warm from the heat vent underneath me and nothing could have felt more satisfying then the tea. It was a perfect blend of cream, earl gray, mint and caramel. Rich in taste but light in texture, kind of like the macaroons I was munching on.

The moment seemed as intense as my day had been, but also, just as much had it felt planned. There had been something more then just a downpour of things to do, and I couldn't help but feel my body being held by the gentle grace of God. It could have only been him who gave me the energy to clean my house that mundane, Monday morning as I ran around with a fresh burst of urgency, seeing to it that everything was just so.

It could have only been him who filled my day with peace as my sewing project acted up for the next several hours, knowing that the determination I would need exceeded all of my human tendencies. I did not give up, or slow down, instead it felt like I had gained potential. So, taking him along on my adventure seemed like a good idea. Might as well, do this laundry we never get to....I told the Lord. And then, when we finished that up too, we sat by the T.V and ironed all the wrinkles out from another heap of procrastination.

By the end of the day I had a clean house that was washed, organized, and cleaned all the way through. I had clothes in the closets, on the shelves, and on the hangers. I had a fridge full of groceries and a pantry that was stocked all the way to the top.

Looking back on everything, I was grateful that he knows about, not only my plans for the day but also the unplanned things of my day. That the urgency, delegation, time-management, and organization of a day that could have only been gained through him. And as the next few days pulled in some unexpected surprises I saw how his hands had gently pushed me so that the rest of my week would not be consumed by my obligations to my schedule but by the opportunities in being available.

So there I was. Sitting by the window, enjoying my macaroons.

Simple Almond Macaroon

12.5 oz almonds (blanched or natural)
5.25 granulated sugar
8.8 Room temperature egg whites
1 tsp. almond extract
20 oz. powdered sugar
pinch salt

In a food processor fitted with a blade attachment, grind the almonds and powdered sugar until fine and powdery (at least 5 mins) Meanwhile, in a bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg whites and salt until just foamy. Gradually add the granulated sugar in a stream. Turn the mixer up to high and whip until a stiff meringue has formed. Having a peak is important, but do not over beat. Instead, when you see that you are reaching a peaking point, beat in short increments until a sturdy peak is reached.

With the mixer running add in the almond extract. Remove bowl from mixer stand and gently fold in the sugar and nut mixture. Using a piping bag fitted with a wide tip, pipe the macarons onto a parchment-lined sheet pan. Aim to create circles the size of quarters. Bake at 300 F and remove when the macrons have turned golden and are set on their "foot", approx. 8-10 minutes.

* When macaroons bake it is okay to open the oven after a couple minutes to check on them. This is done by lightly touching them with your finger. They are set as soon as soon as they do not wiggle on their "foot".

*Also, weight is the better route to take, but, I have also done this by oz. It is not as consistent but it does work.

Measurements in ounces. 2 1/3 cups almonds, 6 egg whites, 5 cups powdered sugar

Baby Hudson

2011-03-09T23:53:00.000-08:00

What I love the most about this table setting is the delicate eloquence. To see the fragile tenderness in each piece was important to me when I expanded on the character of each item. But even despite the search for this collection I love how it portrays itself so effortlessly in the stillness of the table. While in the meantime, the mirrors create movement with the light.

Fun as it was, celebrating little Hudson was the most important. To make him feel welcome. To make the coming of life be as extravagant, special, purposeful and amazing as he will grow to be. Because he will be so loved by a family that desired him and a God that created him. S0, we welcome you in the blessings of a day when we celebrated you, a blessing all and of itself.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart (Jer. 1:5)

Welcoming, hope.

Craft Room Surprise

2011-03-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

This is a written testimony of an amazing person that felt lead by God. That took action and allowed god to work in my life. To build my faith, once again. To trust him, again and again. Thank you for your generosity.

With another short sale not going through we were settling in our home for the third time. As a settler, I wanted to give my craft room some love and care and luckily I found everything I needed around my home. After piecing it together with no expenses at all I was excited to have my new space finished, especially because we recently decided to buckle down and go on a financial adjustment.

It was something that we felt our hearts were being lead to do, something that we had been aware of just not acting upon it. Because to be grateful, meant to stop being selfish, to stop promoting ourselves, protecting ourselves, and providing for ourselves. That instead, as grateful people we should be the ones to give. And even though we liked the concept of it, being thankful was not a category that met our finances.

Wanting to see the opportunity in offerings, I calculated the numbers and the fact was that we have not been able to meet our budget in a month. Unsuccessfully, we went over each and every time to a point of hopelessness. But this week, I knew it was going to be different because this time as I tallied up the dollars I saw that it was possible to spend less. That week we came out fifteen dollars short, and although I was disappointed that we couldn't give more I did feel like we accomplished something. But as I settled, God didn't.

On Friday, the first knock on my door came earlier then my expected guests. Knocking on my door with every intention of being a surprise. Anonymously proclaiming himself and the glory in my life by surprising me with something I could have never allowed myself to buy.

The sewing machine had all the bells and whistles. So extravagant that I was even scared to open it. Frightened that it might not be real, that it might have been a mistake, or that I might not even deserve it. So I gave it a couple of days before I felt ready. By then it was Sunday.

I opened it up carefully, not to break or loose any parts. I sat in my craft room and laid everything out. I looked at the manual and hoped that I wouldn't screw anything up. And in the end I still couldn't believe it. So I sat there. Waiting.

What I found was an envelope, simply put in a sandwich bag that was holding a pair of sewing scissors. Originally, I thought the envelope was holding the scissors in place so I didn't even bother to look inside of it. But for some reason or other, I felt prompted to open it then.

Inside I found sixty dollars, and before I could even put a category to the money I already knew it wasn't mine to have. Quickly, I went to my notepad that had the 15 dollars circled on it. It was the same 15 that had disappointed me earlier. Except now, became my confirmation, because the amount that I was so sure we needed to give was an offering of 75 dollars per week.

It was our efforts that he saw and it was the heavens that truly cared. A God that believed in me so much so that he rewarded me just for trying. And in the end, I saw a God that confirmed his voice to me, a God that knew how to encourage me, and a God that would help me.

We would sure need him because the next two months we had a lot of change coming our way, and in a way I would much rather be living out his plan, instead of my (so far failing) plan. But the best way to put it, is that there's nothing like being surprised by God.

Confirming, hope.

Chocolate Cherry Cake

2011-02-15T12:12:00.000-08:00

Cake:

7 Eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder

Cherries:

1-25 oz jar of dark cherries
(In light syrup)
Vodka

Filling:

1 stick softened, butter
1-8 oz can Condensed Milk

Glaze:

8 tsp cocoa powder
8 tbsp sugar
8 tbsp sour cream
100 g. unsalted butter

Pour out half of the syrup from the cherries and refill the jar back up with vodka. Let it stand in the marinade for several hours. Before use, drain the cherries.

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Beat the eggs and sugar together for 10-15 until thickened and doubled in size. Add the cocoa and continue mixing, until incorporated. Sift in the flour and gently fold in. Then, in a large spring form pan coated with butter pour in the batter and bake for 30 mins or until toothpick comes up clean.

Once the cake has cooled, cut along the perimeter of it, leaving a 1/2 in border. Scoop out all of the insides in order to make a shell, kind of like making a bread bowl. Put the shell of the cake to the side and work on the remains that you pulled out. Either crumble them with your fingers or pulse them in a food processor.

To make the cream, simply beat the butter and once it is fluffy add the condensed milk. Beat together until incorporated. Mix the cream in with the cake bits. Fold in the cherries and then stuff the filling back into the cake shell.

To finish the cake off, make the chocolate glaze by melting the cocoa powder, sugar and sour cream in a small saucepan. Bring to a soft simmer and then take it off the heat. Add the butter 1 tbsp at a time, stirring to incorporate. Once all the butter is added, let it sit for a few minutes before pouring it on the cake. Sprinkle with nuts or bits or chocolate.

Tempted, Hope.

Cherr-ish

2011-02-14T16:59:00.000-08:00

This Valentines day I went looking for a Raspberry scrub from The body shop, but was inspired by cherries instead. Chocolate covered cherries infused with alcohol is a popular choice for many people so when planning our date for tonight I thought it would be appropriate for the occasion.

The scrub almost looks like a cherry puree and the smell was sweet enough to drench a whole body in, so it was a fairly easy decision to make especially since my mind was already moving me right along. I was in the plans of making a chocolate cherry cake with notes of Vodka through out. And, since the cherries for the cake would need to marinate in the alcohol for some time I thought a cherry infused drink would accommodate our bath well.

For all the other wives out there, I hope you are having a great Valentines day. I hope that every day can be filled with moments that will ignite your heart by very sight of the man that you love. The one you have chosen just as much as he had chosen you. That you wouldn't expect from each other the things you aren't willing to do yourselves and then wait on them. That instead, you would take a day and shower him with the things that he loves just because you love him.

Valentines day or not, Cherr-ish every moment. Hope.

Its a Girl!

2011-02-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

I remember the day Jenny was born. She was out in 5, with not a minute to loose. Kicking and screaming, pouting and shouting, crying and laughing, she was a girl that from birth knew that there was an agenda for her to fill.

She was any new mom's dream, born with a whole head of hair. But as most dreams go, I didn't realize that we would also begin a journey with it. Brushing was a struggle from the get go, her big hazel eyes just shedding out tears. Big, shiny ones that left a trail long enough to walk in, sit down, and read a book. So, with the sweetest look I knew how to give, I told my little precious gem that "Beauty comes with a price and beauty some times hurts". The words seemed to be as transparent as the tears that were falling.

Its funny now, how her tears brought out some of mine. Tears that soon became the chapters of our lives. And in the midst of each emotional break down we would drive to my husbands work, so that he could talk to me and for a minute hold her. No one saw the days when we couldn't understand each other. When simple things like trying to dress her turned into tantrums while she deliberated if that's what she wanted to do at all. The scene she would create with the scattered popcorn on the floor, cereal on the carpet, and spills on the very thing I just spent half of the day trying to put on.

It seemed that in between her emotional break downs and mine, I was learning a few things about a nurture that needed to be balanced by consistency. But as days rolled by and another set of problems appeared I struggled to be positive. Realistically, I was in a place where months of potty training had gone wrong. When instead of going on her potty she would take the opportunity to show case it in art. Poop smeared against her satin headboard, toys, carpet and clothes was not a dream that I wanted to be living in.

Prayer along with persistence finally paid off a few months later, when she finally went on the potty herself. But as one area was concurred another area was about to be questioned. The difference between her disobedience and her curiosity, was a little harder. Because Jenny had a way of filling in all the shades of gray. Literally, we saw her spread the ashes on the carpet, only to sit down and play with the black disaster. It turns out that even rules have shades and we spent the next few years discovering them.

Today, I still tell her to take a few more bites of her food, brush in between tears, and teach her about putting things back. But I also know that when she speaks, people listen. That, her attention to detail is something she was born with. And that she has a personality that is all her own. Its one that creates interest where ever she goes and a leader that loves to teach. Of course, I thought, from the moment she was born she has been teaching me.

Looking back, I know that it has been a full season of ups and downs but in a sense it felt like at the same time we were being reassured as parents about our parenting. So, comforted by god, I began thinking about another girl, at first scared by the very idea. But the more I thought, the more I felt ready to have one. Six months in, I can't be more thrilled by the idea that Jenny will finally have a sister and our lives will be enriched by another girl.

Here's to all the little girls who are
made of sugar and spice,
And everything nice.
Hope.

Blast from the past

2011-02-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

Valentines day is nearing quickly and as I think about all the people in my life, I can't help but wonder about all the other people that are not. The ones I have hurt in the past. The ones that saw my true nature and ran away from it, destroyed by the words that came out of my mouth.

This is to the one I have hurt,

My heart can not rest for my mind won't let me and my prayers won't grant me peace. It's like the power of regret and guilt consume me, to a point that it binds me to my sins. Forgiveness feels undeserving, its grace to wonderful for me. But yet I search to make things right, in hopes that settling this with you will help me settle too.

I want to apologize, for all I have done and not done. For the things I have said but also have failed to tell you too. For the way I have made you feel, purposefully and pridefully for my own pleasure. For not giving you a fair chance and seeing you through my own insecurities instead of the person you really are. I feel, that I am ready to find a truth that is real and not through my own short comings.

I am so sorry that you had to see that side of me but I also want to say thank you. Thank you, for challenging my actions and my heart to a level I have never been to before. For taking me from a person that would initially see opportunities to destruct, instead of places to uplift.

Please, accept this as from a person who wants reconciliation. A person that wants to be different but knows it will take time for transformation. And a friend who's discovering that at the end of the day the person she needs to deal with is herself. Just her, sitting before all of her short comings, failures, and regrets. Understanding that to move forward, she would need to enter the past.

Sincerely, I hope that this helps you move forward in yourself. To be a women that has the confidence to live securely in a world that is insecure. A women that will finally let her walls down and know that she is more then the things that are said to her, because she is a women that can change things just by the words that she speaks.

Sincerely, hope.

Walk the way

2011-02-02T23:22:00.000-08:00

We went walking in a new part of town. I wanted to look at a few antique shops and Genius was in the mood to take me. The weather was damp, wet, and cold. But it was the usual and I was prepared. I had on my rain boots, rain coat, and umbrella.

Amongst some very interesting things, I found the coffee sacks I had been looking for. They were going to be used in another attempt to reupholster my chairs before going plastic and my hopes were high this time around. Perhaps child number four would know how to properly sit in a chair. Perhaps she won't bounce around in her seat or eat without playing with her food.

As I enjoyed my sarcastic adventure into a land of behavior, we walked into a coffee place and sampled away on freshly roasted beans. They seem to be the talk around town so we were delighted with the experience, as well as interested in some of the classes that the shop offered.

Continuing down the street with another sample, I was amazing at how a cup of that size could warm my whole body. But a sip and a half later I was back on empty, searching for another place to browse in.

The flower, wine and salt store soon caught our attention. And while we inquired about the wall of Salt I couldn't help but ask what the blocks of it were for. Eighty dollars did seem a little steep, until it was explained that they could be used in a variety of cooking crusades. Grilling meat, searing veggies, or morning eggs could all be done on the salty block. This was definitely a place to keep in mind, especially for gift baskets.

We were coming to the end of the road, but not before we walked into a shoe place. The smell of real leather marinated into my clothes. All the things there were taken to a whole new desirable level and we drooled over the bags and shoes that stood before us. But although our minds ran away with the merchandise, it seemed that our wallets had a real sense of restraint so we walked away with nothing except an exceptional idea for sneakers.

A simple elastic tied at one end and worked up the shoe, puts the traditional shoe laces to shame and I can't help but love the idea.

Thanks again, Portland.
You rule, hope.

Contagious Color

2011-01-28T15:12:00.000-08:00

Head band

Linen Skirt

Pearl Onesie

It all started on a day when painting got the best of me. When a quiet moment was grasped in the arms of color and when I just couldn't put the brush down. But what started as a small project progressed suddenly as I remembered the fabric that lay neatly tucked in a box, waiting for its purpose. Anxiously I pulled it out, wanting to be surprised in the mystery of the moment.

The femininity of it, was breathtaking, and in minutes I envisioned the pair together. I imagined a skirt where the bronze pearls played along side the modern birds and flowers of the print. I saw a piece that went beyond the obvious but inside all of the intricate details that had been designed so perfectly on it. And the more I looked at it, the more I was excited to create it.

Sewing, can sometimes feel therapeutic and while I wondered about purpose and design I fell in love with an idea. An idea that something with purpose can not be contained, instead it is contagious. It will in fact, take over its surroundings and inspire everything around it in a way that both easy and natural. It will in the end be noticed not by seeking attention but by being itself.

So badly I wanted to be that person. A person who can be confident about her strengths, be the person that ignites peoples passions, and serves her purpose daily. Living out a life that will bring out the best in me and the people around me. Be a person of spiritual depth and color. Easily and naturally, myself.

Natural, hope.

Birthday Dreams

2011-01-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

For Drakies third birthday we soared in the warmth of his innocent dreams for hours until he opened his eyes and realized that his party wasn't that day, it was a whole week away. In his three year mind he didn't understand that dreaming didn't make things happen, and he definitely didn't know that they would need to appear through mommies hard work and preparation. But while I tried my best to explain, I couldn't stop his little tears from falling.

Of course I needed to make my boy feel better and for the next week we spent every day on a project. Buying the felt tablecloth. Making the road and gluing together the yellow lines. Setting up the table, placing all the cars, and arranging the napkins. Together we wrapped up the juice boxes, cut out the shapes and went shopping for bendable straws.... until finally his excitement came back.

Little did I know how sentimental he was though. Little did I understand that his cake wasn't meant to be cut or eaten. His balloons weren't blown up to be popped. Or his beautiful room, trashed. And the more his face acted surprised at the destruction of the day, the less fun it was for him. In his little three year old mind he wanted his dream to last. The beautiful and real arrangement of hard work and preparation seemed so pointless to him. And again, he just couldn't understand. So, like mommies do best. I rocked him in my arms and held him for as long as I could.

I knew that despite his disappointments, his heart would race the minute he opened his presents. He would forget the destruction and become part of the party in only a matter of time. And soon after the gifts, he did. Nothing before it mattered anymore, instead he finally let go and enjoyed living in his dream with the sound of laughter that he envisioned.

What dreams are made of, hope.

Vintage made Modern

2011-01-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

It seems that I haven't walked into the craft room in weeks but as I looked through my pictures, I came along one that I had forgotten about completely. Here is a photo of my little Drakes, wearing a hat that I made only a few days before Christmas. My favorite part is this vintage, Can pull. It was something I didn't know what to stick on until I was reminded by the verse "All things old will be made new again". Funny how the bible does have the answers for everything, even the new worldly fashion statements. Saving the earth had never been so publicized, and what was going back to the roots with Organic lines has now turned to Eco-friendly choices that push us to make a conscious effort in re-using the old. Well, if the bible is behind this phenomenon, I love it, especially if its vintage---made modern.

Eco-friendly, hope.

A new leaf

2011-01-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

I could feel my heart throb inside of me, almost as if it were warning me. Quietly it persisted for days until it penetrated through my whole body and as I searched to understand just a part of it, words just couldn't surface. I felt completely stuck in the pit of my emotions as I wrestling with my mind, jumping to conclusions and debating all the reasons "why". But all I felt was a hurt for something I couldn't even fathome.

This continued through the holidays and into the new year until one sunny day on Sunday.

The sermon hit me hard. Powerfully pouring into the depth of my soul, pinpointing moments in my week of struggle as a week of power. It showed me the day when I recognized attack and proclaimed God's truth instead. It brought up my season of submission to God through the sorrow in my heart. A time when my laughter started to sound purer by the freedom I had in my soul. It reminded me about all my convictions when I studied the word by deserning my thoughts and challenging the intents of my heart. It began to tell me that honesty was powerful and transparency doesn't have faults.

Deeper and deeper God proclaimed his works in me. Reassuring me of my commitments. Securing me by the people he placed beside me. The ones he used everyday as a reminder that he understands, and that he is always there for me. So, as I filled back up on his love and his dedication, I began to realize that this year for Christmas he so much as loved me that he gave. He gave me the gift of being restored. Taking me from a place of self doubt to a place of security. And I recieved it, thankfully.

It was so good to know that he believed in me the whole time I couldn't believe in myself and that even though my Christmas didn't go as planned, it was good to know that I was a part of his plan. That he could use my family, my relatives, and my friends together in the mighty work of his hand.

I remembered that day in the car. The day my heart started to hurt for something I couldn't prepare my self for and it made sense. No one can understand God, and the moment you do is the exact moment you don't. That day, I didn't need to understand him or myself I just needed to live it through long enough so that he could reveal himself in me. And now, I can start this new year stronger then what I was. Better then where I was. Happier then who I was.

Restored, hope.

If are interested here is the link to the service from our church on Sunday.

http://www.cityharvestchurch.com/media.php?pageID=25

Christmas Treats

2010-12-17T16:15:00.001-08:00

One the traditions that I was excited to be a part of is the gift of sharing, and every year we go door to door giving a little treat to the ones we love. Friends, neighbors, and family all get a visit from our family. Its a way we deliver our Christmas Cards and also do a little catch up with the people we see a little less.

I love the feeling of being welcomed into a home. I love giving treats to people that are excited about receiving. And I love seeing that cup of coffee being enjoyed with something I made. It is definitely a time when I think that the giver is getting more out of the giving then the receiver and each year it is a "must" on my list.

I do try to do an assortment of treats. This year it was a mix of some of my favorite recipes.

Mango Cheese cake with a pistachio crust

Gentle Cake

Almond Cupcake with Caramel Mousse
and Coco-nut topping

Chocolate Macaroons

Were all put together in this Paula Dean Canister, because,
Christmas Traditions, hope.

Christmas Card

2010-12-14T18:07:00.000-08:00

I finally ordered my Christmas Cards and even though all the people in our lives will be receiving them, I thought it would also be a good time to share our year with my followers.

I need to start by saying that we have been so blessed to have every thing we need and more. For starters, staying in our home has been a huge blessing. For us, it has honestly been a humbling experience and I find myself smiling at the thought that we have had both the opportunity to live with much and to live with less.

It seems that while our plans have taken us down a easy road in the past, we realized that it had only been by his grace. It was in that grace that he gave us some really great moments and filled our lives with people that have not only celebrated with us but today have helped sustain us. People that have walked the road with us, prayed for us, and encouraged us in every step, in every turn and then at every fall.

More then ever we have seen God's work through people. Families who prayed for us when we needed them to. Men who walked with my husband as he fought for his business, learning from the leaders in his life so that he could learn to lead. Each and every week we gathered with our house church to eat, relax, and almost always laugh.

I do believe that there is something about laughter that softens even the roughest spaces. There is something about community that smooths out the hardest of places. And there is something about prayer that touches the most delicate part of the soul. A year filled with that, in my books is a great year.

Happy holidays, hope.

Time Together

2010-12-13T10:21:00.000-08:00

I love how holidays bring the family together. I love the small moments of traditional fires, hot chocolate, and of course Ginger bread. I love the music that continually plays in the background, the kind that gets everyone singing. I love the presents, the tree, and every decoration. All in all, I do enjoy every aspect of Christmas but especially because it reminds me that God so loved the world that he gave. He gave us a part of himself, he gave us his son. And now, it serves as a reminder about a gift I can only aspire to give and giving myself to my family was an easy start.

Spending time together, hope.

Branch off

2010-12-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

For me, it was time to branch off of the typical center pieces and create something I was excited about. So when I saw a recipe for these branches in a Martha Stewart magazine, thoughts started racing inside of my head. Immediately I was inspired by the wonderful stump that Natalie had given me, a dessert order, and of course Martha. Can I just say that it was hard not to make something spectacular, a piece that I was proud of showcasing in the center of my table.

Russian Branches Cookie

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp Course Salt
2 eggs + 2 egg yolks
1/4 cup Sugar
2 tbsp Brandy or Rum
1 tbsp Lemon Zest
1 Tbsp Orange Zest
10 cups Safflower oil
or Veggie Oil
Confectioners Sugar

In a medium bowl sift together flour, salt, and baking powder. In a mixing bowl, beat the eggs and sugar until it turns pale yellow. Add the brandy, lemon zest, and orange zest. Beat to incorporate. Add the flour and mix together. Knead together.

Let the dough rest covered at room temperature for one hour. After it rests roll the dough out in a rectangle, about 1/8 of an inch. Cut into thin strips and shape into branches by stretching the dough out. Deep fry in a large skillet on medium heat until golden brown.

Assemble in a vase, or decorate on a favorite dessert. Powder with Confectioners Sugar.

Towering, Hope.

All Decked Out

2010-12-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

With the menu set, I had a house to decorate.

A tree to light and presents to wrap.

A table cloth to make and a table to set.

Delicate ornaments to hang.

Also, Paper whites to plant.

And lastly, a fresh garland to hang.

Finally we are all decked out for Christmas, hope.

Cookies and cream

2010-12-07T14:45:00.000-08:00

Peach Puffs

Cookies:

2 cups flour
100 g Butter
2 eggs
2 1/2 tbsp Sour cream
1/3 cup Sugar
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
Dissolved in a couple drops of Lemon Juice

Cream:

8 oz. can of condensed milk
1 stick butter
1/2 cup Heavy Whipping cream or 1 cup Whip cream

Beat sugar and butter, when fluffy add the sour cream. Separately whip the eggs and then add to the butter mixture. Beat to incorporate. Add the Baking soda paste. Mix well and then add the flour. Divide the dough in half and then let it cool in the fridge for 30-40 minutes. Once cool form 1 1/2 inch balls and bake in a 325 F. 6 cookies at a time for about 10 minutes. After removing the six from the oven, pick up one of the cookies using a towel. With your other hand carve out the middle, coming as close to the edge as possible without breaking it and remove the insides. You should end up with just the shell of the cookie. While shelling the remaining 5 cookies, place more in the oven to bake. Keep doing this until all the cookies are hollow and you have a small bowl filled with their crumbs.

To make the cream, you will need to beat the butter and the condensed milk together until incorporated. Add the whipping cream in a stream and beat until thickened. Then, process the crumbs in a food processor. In a separate bowl mix the crumbs and the cream together. Add the cream until desired consistency and moistness. Always do a taste test.

To assemble, add the cookie mush back into each cookie and and stick 2 halves together. They will slide off of each other, so put them on a high rimmed cookie sheet in sandwich formation until you finish with all of them. Place in the fridge to cool for about 30 minutes. Once hardened, mix a few drops of peach food coloring together with a water. Brush on each cookie and dip into the sugar or sprinkles.

Katie says it just wouldn't be Christmas without cookies,
Hope.

Main Course

2010-12-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

Grilled Fillet of Pacific Salmon with Thai Red Curry Sauce

This has been a recipe favorite in my books for years. I find that even though I am not a curry person I love this adaptation that I found in a cook book. The cook book is a collection of San Francisco's favorite recipes. One of the reasons I fell in love with it is that it had a small description, no pictures, and a tip for success on every page.

One of the other things that this recipe does well, is give a great first impression. It looks beautiful on a plate or a platter so I just couldn't resist in making it again. Also I have found that this version of rice is the perfect way to cook it.

Rice:

2 1/4 cups water
1 1/2 cups Basmati Rice
3 tbsp Unsalted Butter
Salt

Sauce:

4 1/2 tsp peanut oil
2 1/4 garlic, minced
2 1/4 tsp peeled and minced fresh ginger
1 tbsp curry powder
1 tbsp Thai red curry paste
1 tbsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp ground cumin
2 1/2 cups canned unsweetened coconut milk
5 tbsp plus 1 tsp canned tomato paste
4 1/2 tsp soy sauce
3 tbsp brown sugar

Cabbage Slaw:

2 cups loosely packed julienned green cabbage
2 cups loosely packed julienned red cabbage
1/2 cup julienned carrots
2/3 julienned cucumber
1/3 cup cilantro leaves
1/3 cup fresh mint leaves
1 tsp soy sauce+ more if needed
1 tbsp rice wine vinegar+more if needed
Salt and pepper to taste

Salmon:

6 six-once salmon fillets
1 tbsp olive oil
Salt and Pepper
( I have grilled a whole fish also)

-To make the rice: Preheat the oven to 350 F. In a small oven proof saucepan over medium-high, combine the water, rice, butter, and salt. Bring to a boil. Cover with a lid and cook in the oven until the rice is tender and the liquid has been absorbed, about 12-15 minutes. Fluff with a fork. Set aside and keep warm.

-To make the sauce: Heat the oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the garlic and ginger and saute until light brown, about 5 minutes. Add the curry powder, curry paste, paprika, coriander seeds, and cumin. Reduce the heat to low and saute until fragrant about 2 minutes. Add the coconut milk, tomato paste, soy sauce, and brown sugar. Bring to a simmer and remove from heat. Do not let the sauce boil. Keep warm or reheat gently before serving.

-To make the salmon: Prepare the grill. Alternately, heat a saute pan over high heat, brush the salmon with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill or saute the salmon to desired doneness. About 2 1/2 minutes per side for medium rare.

-To make the cabbage slaw: Combine the cabbages, cucumber, carrots, cilantro, and mint in a medium bowl. Add the soy sauce, vinegar, salt and pepper and toss to coat. Taste and adjust seasonings as necessary.

-To serve: Place about 1/2 cup of the basmati rice in the center of each plate, then place the salmon on top. Pour about 1/2 cup of the sauce around the outside edge. Place a small pile of the cabbage salad on top of the salmon. Try to get as much elevation on the salad as possible. Sprinkle the sauce with peanuts.

* The secrets of success cookbook By Michael Bauer

For starters

2010-12-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

Thai Pumpkin Soup:

http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2010/11/thai-pumpkin-soup.html

Marinated Carrot Salad:

2 Bags of Shredded Carrots from Trader Joe's
(or you can shred 2 lbs yourself on a Mandolin)
Ground Corinader
Salt and Pepper
Cayenne Pepper
Apple cider Vinegar
1/4 cup Grape Oil
6 cloves garlic, crushed

Place the carrots in a salad bowl. On medium heat, heat the oil in a pan. Once it is hot add the garlic and let it sizzle for just a second or two. Add the hot oil to the Carrots and stir to incorporate the oil. Start with a couple splashes of vinegar and begin adding the seasonings. Play around with the spices until you get your desired flavor. It should be intense and well seasoned, usually it is balanced between spicy and garlicky but it depends on personal preference. When you are satisfied with the flavors, cover the bowl and let it marinate in the fridge overnight or for at least 12 hours. It can last in the fridge for about a week but usually tastes better at a cool room temperature.

*I do realize that this is not a traditional, measurement kind of recipe. But, that is how Irina does it. She is a cook that has a eye for spices and a taste for correction. So, this is the best I could give you and if you are up for an adventure in the kitchen. This would be it. With out a doubt this is one of my favorite salads*

Soaking up, Hope.

My Holiday Menu

2010-12-06T11:40:00.000-08:00

Creating a Menu usually takes me a little time. Its a sit down moment filled with opened cook books on my table. The way I usually start is with a favorite recipe, and work my way down from there. In this case it was a Red Curry Salmon that lays on a bed of a Cabbage Slaw. With the main course figured out, I knew I needed a starter, a salad and a side. Going along with the Thai flavors of the dish I added my recent favorite, Thai pumpkin Soup. After that, the sides were easy because my sister-in-law makes the most amazing Stuffed Mushrooms and a Marinated Carrot Salad, and even though it might sound ordinary the flavors she puts together are anything but. The Carrot Salad she makes has coriander and garlic that linger on the tip of your tongue, while hints of spicy cayenne add a little bit to the dish. Also, in addition to my recipes I will post my a few new things I added to my kitchen, that help my day in it be a little easier.

Starters:

Thai Pumpkin Soup
Marinated Carrot Salad

Main:

Red Curry Salmon with Cabbage Slaw
Basmati Rice
Stuffed Mushrooms

Dessert:

Christmas Caramel Cookies
Russian Branches

Hope.

Team work

2010-12-04T02:08:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are a team. If we had a design show on T. V, he would be that carpenter that makes visions become real. Nothing I do would be possible with out him and I love sharing my passions with him. I find that even though I respect his point of view, I also enjoy our many debates. But in the end though, we are always a team.

So, this little project was delegated by me and made by my "Genius". This cutting board was exactly what I needed to move out of the craft room and into the kitchen. It was made with a specific purpose that was both important and necessary. It was about to become my inspiration and drive behind the recipes that I was about to create.

Making something together where my inspiration drives our passion, hope.

All tied up

2010-12-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

Bolt did it again. The minute I saw this adorable robot fabric I knew that it would put a smile on any boys face. It was modern but fun. Simple yet colorful, and casual as well as comfortable. I just knew it was going to be the perfect gift for not only my boys but a few others as well. I found that besides the assembly of this project my favorite part was learning how to actually tie a tie. That with the joy of giving, just had to make it on my list of 25.

Tie together, hope.

Accessorize it

2010-12-01T21:54:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a season that is red, shiny, fragile, and beautiful.

Everything about the dress that Jenny chose was festive and she loved every part of it. But despite her confidence in the choice, she was still lured by the saleswomen to the neatly arranged rack of accessories. From the corner of my eye I could see her eyes light up as we approached the beautiful headbands. And even though there were many great choices for her, I reasoned with the child. This is a result of that reasoning.

Making accessories instead of paying Nordstrom prices, hope.

Dollar Dream

2010-11-30T17:36:00.001-08:00

Next, I found these beautiful leaf ornaments at the dollar store. By adding a simple silk flower, I was able to make this dollar deal go further. I do think that something hand made on the Christmas tree gives it a personality that can only be your own. For me, it is always simple and white. It is a style I can only try to run away from but can never have enough strength to turn my back on.

Ornamental, hope.

Christmas Count Down

2010-11-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

As we finished the turkey off with thanksgiving, I found myself thankful for the nice dusting of snow we have had the whole week. It was easy to enjoy the comforts of staying indoors. Sitting close to the fire and sipping on hot cider was very relaxing, but it didn't take long before I soon found my hands itching for something to do.

With out sizes or patterns, this wool hat and vest set was not an easy task for me but as the rhythm of the sewing machine became familiar to me, I saw potential in myself. I saw a women that was very much capable and never before did it make more sense to me. Never had I felt like believing in my creator meant to also believe in myself. Never did I feel like his presence was all around me when I was in the bubble of my purpose. And even though my purpose might just be a house wife right now, I am enjoying every minute of it.

So, if their is anyone else their that enjoys the hassles of staying at home I thought you might like my next adventure.

25 things in 25 days before Christmas.

1. Make an outfit.

Hope.

Thai Pumpkin Soup

2010-11-19T13:26:00.000-08:00

Thai Pumpkin Soup

Adopted from Epicurus with minor changes made for my liking.

In delight of the wonderful holiday approaching next week, I think nothing says Thanksgiving better then a Pumpkin can. This version of pumpkin soup brought me to a whole new appreciation for them and I am excited to add this to my collection of recipes.

Ingredients:

3 to 4 shallots, unpeeled
1 1/2 pounds peeled pumpkin, cubed
1/2 cup canned or fresh coconut milk
2 cups mild pork or chicken broth
1 cup loosely packed cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons Thai fish sauce, or to taste
Generous grindings of black pepper
Coriander to taste
Minced, scallion greens and jalapenos.

Preparation:

In a heavy skillet, or on a charcoal or gas grill, dry-roast or grill the shallots, turning occasionally until softened and blackened. Peel, cut the shallots lengthwise in half, and set aside.

Peel the pumpkin and clean off any seeds. Cut into small 1/2-inch cubes. You should have 4 1/2 to 5 cups cubed pumpkin.

Place the coconut milk, broth, pumpkin cubes, shallots, and cilantro leaves in a large pot and bring to a boil. Add the salt and simmer over medium heat until the pumpkin is tender, about 10 minutes. Stir in the fish sauce and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes. Taste for salt and add a little more fish sauce if you wish. (The soup can be served immediately, but has even more flavor if left to stand for up to an hour. Reheat just before serving.)

Serve from a large soup bowl or in individual bowls. Grind black pepper over generously, and, if you wish (this was my favorite part) garnish with a sprinkling of minced scallion greens and jalapenos. Leftovers freeze very well.

Little Sparrow

2010-11-09T18:22:00.000-08:00

The arrival of baby Phillip is much anticipated. And while I love throwing frilly little things for girls, nothing can be more delightful to me then planning for little boys. I love the colors and the simplicity of them. The different hues of blue and green seem to never change but some how remain striking. And while it is fun to create new things it is also nice to fall back on things the have been proven to work. Classic looks remind me that some things never change and that being predictable doesn't need to be boring.

Patterns of blue birds echoed throughout the room, playing upon the branches of nature while nests made of moss awaited prayer over a seed inside. A prayer for nurture, love, and blessing in honor of the delicate arrival. Wishes for health, growth, and development upon each step that takes place before maturity. And while each is just a seed in the beginning, they serve as part of a purpose in God's plan. Nothing is without a destiny but yet for his glory alone.

To create, in a sense is to experience Him. To plan, is something that is part of Him. To be purposeful, is a reminder that there is always a purpose. I couldn't help but enjoy every part of my month. I enjoyed the days of preparation because I was able to appreciate it that much more. And in the end, I couldn't help but be in awe of the outcome. The turn out was a simple display of nature entwined by all the complexities it needed to come to life.

I felt that it was everything I could have given to a shower. And when the day finally came and the guests crowed the space, I thought about his name. Phillip Vorobets. Which, interestingly enough translated to "sparrow". And as I busily arranged the food on the table, I couldn't help but think that I was throwing a shower for a mama bird, that is awaiting the birth of her little chick in December.

Let the nesting begin, hope.

2010-11-09T18:05:00.000-08:00

Baby Ella Rose

2010-11-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

I met Katie through a friend. She was sweet, soft spoken, and extremely beautiful. Right away, I loved her sense of togetherness. But even besides that, I liked how she chose her words. Always so carefully and intentionally. And even though she seemed delicate I found that I also admired her strength. In all truth, it was easy to like her.

What I found interesting though, is how the personality that shaped her, in turn helped shape her party. I knew that if I could convey just a little part of who she is, that it would make the evening memorable for everyone.

(Keep in mind who it's for and what they are like)

A rich plum seemed suitable. It was deep, as well as vibrant. The kind of color that was anything but predictable but every bit exciting. Balancing it off with a perfect white brought some lightness to the heavy shade and I liked how it made the patterns pop out.

(I say, start with one idea and build on it)

(A vision sometimes lacks the small details when it only sees the big picture)

So, the search for some details began. I needed umbrellas that I scored at Salvation Army, lanterns that I found at Ikea, and candles from the dependable Dollar Store. With all the major things purchased I was excited to start putting it together.

As I assembled the table, I felt that it still lacked. I needed something different. Something special. Something that conveyed every part of her femininity. And what better then a flower. It seemed like it was every bit delicate as it was purposeful. So, it was time to put my hands to work.

(Some things are last minute. Plan on it.)

At the end, I looked around and thought it provoked all the emotion a baby shower should. There were tender tears, powerful prayers, and genuine blessings that filled the room. And even though I would have loved to give my decorating some credit, I know that the women in that room made it happen for Katie. She was, after all, a special women of God.

Decorating is only one detail of the party, Hope.

Part 2: Confrontations with life

2010-10-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2010/09/chapter-1-everyone-has-story.html

(If you haven't read the beginning. Here is the link of a post I made in September)

In an instant, my perspective changed and as I looked around my room I saw the place I had felt so safe in before be a place that was anything but. The music stirred up repulsive ideas in my head that were constantly being played on repeat. The clothes on the floor were dancing around pathetically, the same ones that I worked so hard for and took extra shifts just so I could fit in with the groups in school. And the photos lay scattered on the floor, pictures of boys, memories of hurt, of pressure, and of violation. I saw the worst before me and hated every part of it. It was almost like a break up, where all I felt like doing was ripping up my wasted time. The pleasure I would get if I could only tear away at the pages of my adolescence, and then burn up any left remains.

Instead, I packed slowly, going through each regret and by the time I finished, my heart was ready but my mouth stayed shut. I knew that the clock was ticking inside of my suitcase but I just couldn't make out the words and silence never gave me a good opportunity to speak. It seemed like it was never the right time or the right moment, so I kept my mouth shut until the day the phone rang. I knew that the voice on the other end was about open up my can of worms and actually, I was glad it wouldn't be me. I was better off, safer even, in the horrors of my thoughts.

I listened to the muffled voices and then the click of the receiver. I heard every creak in the steps as my mother walked up the stairs. And for the first time ever I was more scared then I have ever been. I was up against myself and my pride. Because actually, perfection, was something I tried hard to be. I had to, perfection was the only thing my parents could accept at this time. But the walls were about to come down when that door would open, and I would have to come face to face with disappointment.

The handle turned, just as predicted and the lion broke loose in the room. It was gnawing at me, chewing on every piece of disbelief and then spitting it back at me. Without intention, I froze like a prey anticipating its defeat. Wondering when the time of death would strike me. Sooner was better. Silence was better. A sad face was better, better for the heart I heard. And as I sat there on my bed, strangled by fear, I realized something in between my mother's words.

Perfection was not mine to have, it was grace. Perfection was not made for me, completion was. And I was not made to meet human expectations but fall short of them. I was made for grace. For mercy. For selflessness. So, right there in the middle of the battle I experienced a failure that was accepted without blame.

From that moment on a new strength was born. I decided that even though I was in a bit of a human heap I did not want my circumstances to push me down. Rejection seemed only temporary because I believed that the truth always had a way of coming out. That right had a way of being rewarded, and that purpose had a way of fulfilling promise. I realize now, that it was the security that saved me. It would need to, and soon, because my plane was about to land with a whole new set of problems.

I was told that in my culture women are regarded as women of influence. They are the ones who establish the rules for the weaker, sexual male who thinks about it a million times a day. We had responsibilities to keep. Pressure to concur and sexual drive to hold under control. So, to say the least, I had a whole lot of blame coming my way that was about to challenge just what I believed myself to be.

As expected, it was hurtful and I can still remember the comments that tore me to shreds. The eyes that looked me straight in the face and told me that I was undeserving. The conversations of misunderstanding that followed moments of complete abandonment. It was in those kind of moments that I could almost feel the grip of God holding me back, when everything in my body wanted to attack right back.

This needed to happen no matter how much I would have loved to ignore it. But family was important to us. Marriage was important to us and we wanted to convey God's dedication to us, by dedicating ourselves to each other. His love and His promises, meant something significant to us as we promised to be there for one another. And then when things would get tough we would know just how to forgive time and time again, because we had been forgiven. Because in the end, it would be our relationship with Him that would show us how to have a relationship with each other.

Relying completely on God, we got married the sixth of October. Just a few days after I had turned 18. I wore a simple dress together with my prom shoes. Which in turn, reminded me so much of the past summer where my biggest problem had been my best friends crush on me. Remembering my past relationships, I hoped that the man I just married was the one I truly loved. And then, as I swayed to the rhythm of the day, in the perfect crisp air of autumn I liked the comfort I had in relying on my husbands magic. He was the one that believed in love at first sight, in soul mates, and miracles. His love for me, together with God's grace, seemed promising in comparison to anything else.

Lord, Please. Please I prayed, hold us together on the path that you have set before us. Help us be stronger and more fierce than what the world offers or what the enemy will hold in his hands. May we always rise above the influence and no longer fall into temptation. Instead, during our faithful walk would you bring wisdom and understanding to our actions and persistence in our minds. Help us always fight the fight for what is right.

I felt peaceful at last, almost like everything was in its place for the first time in months.

Thanksgiving came early

2010-10-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Fall is here and I just couldn't resist putting up my little pumpkins as part of my table setting for our dinner guests. We were having Caesar Salad with Genius's Wraps. http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2009/04/look-forward-to-leftovers.html. They continue to be a favorite of mine and I was excited to make them, to eat them, and to be thankful for them.

To be thankful, really thankful came to me in the form of small blessings. Simple things that came in just the right time were personal to me and as I sat at my window last week I looked down at my plate a little differently. God had a way of providing, a plan of provision, and a promise of shelter and food. Always. Sitting there, I was completely thankful for what was given to me and I think for the first time I was sincere about it. Humbled in a sense that he will always share with me.

The words were easy. Share what you have with God's people who are in need. Be hospitable. (Romans 12:13) This was the memory verse for the kids this week at our church. And after I sent them off to school, I stood in my kitchen smiling. I knew that sharing with me was God's desire, and it was only by knowing what he does for me that I can delight in doing it for others.

So today, setting it up for our guests brought delight in my heart. It was nice to have our friends over. To catch up, see where God is working, and be involved in their life continues to be a blessing. It was nice knowing that even before thanksgiving this year I was thankful in my heart. Thankful, for the people in our lives and the food on the table.

Smiling, hope. Thankful, hope. Humbled, hope.

Barbie and the 3 Musketeers

2010-10-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

Jenny is my only girl. She is the middle child between two boys. She is very much girlish as she is tom-boyish. So the Barbie Musketeer movie became an instant hit with her. For a whole year she planned her birthday. She that knew she wanted a sleepover, to have a Musketeer cake, and to battle with swords. What she didn't plan on was winning a coloring contest at a local mall, for the grand prize of 12 tickets to the carousel. So with the final detail checked off, the anticipation began to build up in her. Until finally her birthday came.

The carousel was surreal in the evening. The horses bounced around almost freely, expressing themselves in the rhythm of lights. The girls were their masters and they enjoyed the security in that. To be wanted, to be loved, to be needed was something special to the painted horses. And even though they stood prepared for hours until they were chosen, the laughter was always worth it.

The musketeers fled into the night. With only the sword on their backs to protect them. They fought off the boys who laughed in their faces, made fun of their names, and said they were weaklings. They showed them who's boss. They proved them all wrong. Because that's what Musketeers do!

But as all fairy tales go, they each have their end. With a yawn and a stretch, a smile and a sigh we put our little princesses to bed. They were done for the day. They each needed some rest. From the magical land called "Birthdays". So they pulled up their blankets, fluffed up the pillows and dreamed up more dreams for their own special, birthday party.

Into the night, hope.

September Winner

2010-10-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all of your amazing comments once again. Many of the compliments were nice to hear but I was looking for something deeper. More about you, my viewers and your walk through life. Although being open, tends to be hard over the internet I was taken a back by this particular message.

The winner this month is this anonymous girl. Thank you for opening your self up and then, for sharing it.

Anonymous Girl.

I truly need rest from hanging on to things, emotional things, heartaches, loss, failure, resentment, sadness, and being able to finally forgive and let go. Here's a poem that I have had for a while, I am not sure who it is written by but it is very simply put. I have realized that to achieve rest I have to start letting go step by step. That it takes time and that it could only be done with the helping hand of god.

To let go,
doesn't mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go
is not to cut myself off;
it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go
is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go
is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go
is not to try to change or blame another;
I can change only myself.

To let go
is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go
is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go
is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go
is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go
is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go
is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go
is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.

To let go
is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go
is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go
is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go
is to fear less and love more.

These are no instructions on how to let go...but it is a start, hope.

Part 1: Everyone has a story

2010-09-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

My heart is hurting for the people so close in my life. The ones that want to pray but don't know what to say, let me just say that each of us have our story. A testimony that helps us remember who God is and how much he loves us. This first part goes out to the people in my life that want to be strong enough to have God in their life, but feel undeserving. The ones that are holding on to a guilt that has long been forgotten. The one's that God is waiting to comfort, if they would just let him. I am praying for you and your journey. Here is my journey, that in turn became my testimony. I truly hope that it can help you believe in yours.

I let the sun kiss me upon my face. I smiled at its touch, wanting to enjoy every minute of it before I switched positions and contemplated the choice of getting up. I felt the sheets on the bed, and then watched as they entangled me. I felt my body tense up as the tasks of my day began to overwhelm me. Just like that, I was caught in the middle of comfortable moments and responsibility.

I wanted to lay just a little bit longer to play in the perfect moment of pleasure, but it didn't take long for my list of responsibilities to consume me and the snares of reality to confront me. As usual, I reacted by tossing and turning. Trying to erase my very own thoughts and to be honest, they didn't seem to be inviting enough to pull me out of bed.

The more I thought, the more I pondered over them. So many times I started over and over again, trying to solve and resolve my problems. I knew that everyday I held more ordeals rather than ideals and I could feel myself suffocating under them, pushing for survival. Trying to make it this morning, I cried on the sheets of my life. Everything was too entangled, woven together by the threads of my choices but for some reason I couldn't let go of them. I was too weak to stand strong, too confused to change and too preoccupied to see.

My whole body rejected the thought of a baby. Every confrontation with the truth seemed to be justified with another deceit. It was as if my mind was trying so hard to persuade me into abortion that there didn't seem to be any other choice. I laid there long enough for my emotions to take there turn on the roller coaster of my life and once I was done my rampage I lay silently in my bed, searching my heart until I heard it. The voice was ever so faint, ever so gentle but unmistakably powerful.

It held a promise that was far greater than anything else. It told me that I had a choice. A choice to either pick the Human me, the one that had poured guilt into me, made excuses for me, and burdened me. Or the Believing me. The me, that was going to believe in a God that forgives, that loves, and that cares about each detail of my life. The one that guides, blesses, and rewards.

I couldn't even imagine how he could bless some one like me. A person who went against everything He stood for, the one that knew the difference between right and wrong but chose to close my eyes to it. How would he reward my choices and even more so, why would he want to? Fervently, I searched the bible for answers. Dropping tears on the pages until I felt remorseful enough. I wanted to feel the words penetrating right into my soul. Deep into the roots of my shame, my selfishness, and my regrets.

They did exactly that but in an uneasy, unsettling kind of way. Where minutes felt like hours and days felt like weeks. It was going to be hard to confront my parents. The kind of hard where I could already feel the knots in my stomach being twisted until my death. Indeed, truth was a sore spot that we have been attempting to forget. It was something that had changed our family once before, something so bare and real that none of us could have been prepared.

Up until then, we were a normal family. With hardworking parents who thought they raised strong, Christen leaders. Children that were above the influence, above society and sin. But just as quickly as that idea was shaped, it was also proven wrong. Each one of their false illusions was shattered in a single moment when they realized that one of us had become not at all what they hoped.

I remember the foul smell of rebellion that was stuck on him. Dirty nails, smokey breath, and baggy clothes . Even in this state, it was my parents worst nightmare. I looked at my brother and he looked right into me. Innocent, as the nights we slept together when we were kids. But while his eyes were pure, his words were fierce. Hateful words of blame helped the fight break loose quickly. All night long their tears fought between anger and love, until they became too intense to try and understand and too deep to try and reason.

I also remember my mom. The cold, emotionless look she gave when her words pounced back in defense. I could see the pain that was being covered up and then the denial that settled in. It was sad. After all, it was her favorite son. The one she had always bonded so naturally with and connected so effortlessly with. I assume that it was probably that idea that helped her have the confidence to give him an ultimatum. To choose between his family or his friends. To go against her blessings and the blessings of God.

At the time he was only 15 years old and since then, two years had already gone by since he shut he door on us. Although it seemed long enough to get used it was still fresh enough to feel pain. And many nights I laid awake to the sound of it. Awake to the pain that was heard pressing out through my mothers lips, while my dad replayed the night in his head. Praying for his safety and for his return.

To tell them, would not only bring up the past but also propose a pattern. It would question their parenting abilities, question God, and question faith. Everything was at stake, again. Except this time, it was me. Their perfect, trophy of a daughter. The one they didn't worry about. The one that played piano and excelled in school. The one who was strong, collected, and confident; was going to suddenly be everything but. This was not about drugs and drinking anymore but about life. Birth, was much more serious than a rebellious boy experimenting. But although it seemed different, it was also the same. I would leave. Just like my brother did.

In my case, I knew that I needed God. I knew that I wanted the rest of my life to rest in his hands. To know that if I had anything, I had him. That if my parents rejected me, I had him. . That when I had my child, it would get to know him. That my marriage would be blessed by him. That the rest of my choices, would be lead by him. And that my wisdom, would come from him. I needed to be needy. I needed him to tell me who I was. What was required of me. What was acceptable, necessary, and expected from me.

When it came down to it, what I realized I needed was to learn about him so that I could learn about myself.

It was that understanding that brought me to a place of dependence and I cried out to God. In this morning, hear my voice, Oh, Lord. Hear my requests and open me up to a new day. A day where the light of your face shines upon me. The kind of morning where my heart is glad, my tongue rejoices and my body rests in your security. I want to begin my day on you instead of my problems and my habits. Show me your ways, teach me your paths, and guide me in truth. Exchange my thoughts with your thoughts. Settle my confusions and strengthen me. Prioritize and organize the responsibilities of my day. Help my hope be in you everyday, every morning, and every overwhelmed moment. And then, when all is said and done, help me follow through with what is right.

At 17, it was the first time I held onto a prayer and believed it.

The First, hope.

Thai Chili Beef

2010-09-22T14:56:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite go-to meals. It is both delicious, eaten the same day as it is microwaved. I do have to say that even though I hope for left overs, very few times does that actually happen. Also, we usually pair this together with chow mien noodles but if I am having company then a simple veggie stir-fry would be added as well.

Beef and Marinade:

3/4 tsp. ground Coriander
1/8 tsp. ground white pepper
1 tsp. light brown sugar
1 tbsp. fish sauce
2 lbs. blade steaks,
trimmed and cut into 1/4 inch strips

Stir-fry:

2 tbsp fish sauce
2 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp water
1 tbsp light brown sugar
1 tbsp Asian chili-garlic paste
3 med. garlic cloves, minced
3 tbsp. vegetable oil
3 Serrano or Jalapeno Chilies, halved,
seeded and ribs removed. Cut cross-wise
(I only use one chili when I make it)
3 med. shallots, trimmed, peeled and
quartered lengthwise, layers separated
1/2 cup fresh mint leaves

1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves
1/3 cup roughly chopped unsalted peanuts
Lime wedges for serving

1. For the beef and marinade: Combine coriander, white pepper, brown sugar, and fish sauce in a large bowl. Add beef, toss well to combine; marinate for 15 minutes.

2. For the stir fry: In a small bowl stir together fish sauce, vinegar, water, brown sugar, and chili-garlic paste until sugar dissolves; set aside. Heat 2 tsp of oil in 12-inch nonstick skillet over med high heat until smoking;add on-third of beef to skillet in even layer. Cook, without stirring, until well browned, about 2 minutes, then stir and continue cooking until beef is browned around edges and no longer pink in the center, about 30 seconds. Transfer beef to medium bowl. Repeat with additional oil and remaining meat in 2 more batches.

* Try frying it over a fire if you happen to have a chance. Its my preference over the stove top.

3. After transferring the last batch of beef to bowl, reduce heat to medium; add remaining 2 tsp oil to now-empty skillet and swirl to coat. Add chilies and shallots and cook, stirring frequently, until beginning to soften, 3 to 4 minutes. Push chili-shallot mixture to sides of skillet to clear center;add garlic to clearing and cook, mashing mixture with spoon, until fragrant, about 15 seconds. Stir to combine garlic with the chili-shallot mixture. Add fish sauce mixture to skillet;increase heat to high and cook until slightly reduced and thickened, about 30 seconds. Return beef and any juices to skillet, toss well to combine and coat with sauce, stir in half of mint and cilantro;serve immediately, sprinkling individual servings with portion of peanuts and remaining herbs and lime wedges.

* Recipe courtesy of America's Test Kitchen

September Giveaway!

2010-09-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

Rest your pretty little head on some ruffles in this upcoming season because the weather is about to change. Here in the North West we are in for some rainy days and a predicted cold winter. I can already imagine the many nights we will have. Times when I sit by the fire with blankets up to my neck and a hot cup of tea nestled between my hands. I can already picture myself completely submerged into the television series that does such a good job of entertaining my every emotion. I am also ready to slow down, settle in, and relax.

I am ready to let go of the complications that frazzle me, problems that burden me, and set backs that disappoint me. I am ready to rest in Gods consistency as life continues to throw in its own set of problems. But at the same time I accept that even though I feel ready, most of the time I am also unprepared. That in those moments I will still need a comfy pillow to sulk in, to think in, and to release in. While all along I also know that He will stand beside me and wait for me to finish.

So this month, I am giving away this pillow cover. Like before, send in your comments. But this time lets go outside the walls of your home and into the walls of your heart. Do you think you need rest? And from what?

....I know I could always use some, hope.

Photogenic moments

2010-09-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

Jenny is my beautiful daughter. She is turning six here in just a little bit and starting school. Recently I have been watching her become her own little self through clothes, accessories, and glances in mirrors. Little things that she hadn't noticed before were a big deal now, things like making sure her head bands matched and that the shoes went well with each outfit. She was definitely changing and I was excited about it.

So when a package came for her in the mail I watched her little face light up as she opened her gift this year. The sparkles on her shirt seemed magical and the 1/8 inch heel was proclaimed in screeches. She was ecstatic. I could tell, so I did what any photo-obsessed mom would do. I took pictures.

Naturally she was beautiful but it has been tough portraying her beauty into a photograph. It usually took patience, time, and memory card of digital tries. So it completely took me by surprise when we stepped out today. All of a sudden, she worked the camera in a way I have never seen before and I wasn't even sure I liked it. My girl had suddenly grown up.

I watched her body move, freely, easily, and gracefully. She knew how to have fun with it, laugh with it, and be part of it. I was fascinated by it, mesmerized by her every look into the camera. So as I stood back and watched, I prayed for her in the back of my mind.

Let her always be this happy to be in her skin. This secure about herself and her creator. This pure, sure, whole and innocent for as long as she needs to be. But also help me be completely confident in my image so that I could raise her in a way that she should never question her worth, or compare herself to others. Your beauty, is in turn my beauty which is most certainly hers too.

Perfectly designed, hope.

August Winner!

2010-08-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for everyone's interest in this months apron give away. It seems that my excitement was building up along with yours and I just couldn't wait to find out who the winner might be. As it turns out the lucky person this month is Pappy Boutique. I am so excited to not only give away this apron but also be introduced to her blog and her life.

Check it out at http://pappyboutique.blogspot.com/.

So Pappy, let this apron inspire you. Look good on you. And help you in every cooking adventure. May each spoon fall on a clean floor, dish not break, and food land right-side up. All the best to you.

Nice to meet you, hope.

T-Shirt Frenzy

2010-08-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

I love the simplicity that happens when a t-shirt and jeans pair up together. There is something reliable about the moment, almost calming in the sense that it continues to be a trend. The truth is, I always come back to it and I envy my little boy when he has his tees on. So when I found these plain t-shirts for a dollar, it gave me an idea. Four t-shirts in four different ways.

Strips are always a go with me but something this predictable needed to be balanced with something that was not. A hand-stitched star helped this shirt have a sporty but trendy feel. I think Converse needs to watch out because I can draw stars too.

The hat here makes this shirt go a whole other level. But if you look close enough you will see that the shape of the guitar was mimicked off the fabric. A modern but yet classic look when the two were paired together.

Ties, seem to be hitting the stores nation wide. It is an inspirational idea that was easy to create, especially when I used the scraps from turning pants into shorts. Of course I always have jeans to lean on but the way I see it, matching should expand past the collections found in Gymboree.

Lastly, is the pocket. Probably the most functional of them all. But I learned that any thing functional can also be turned into something beautiful. Just by replacing the existing pocket with a pattern one gave this little tee some attitude.

There is always more then one way, hope.

Strawberry Cream Cake

2010-08-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

Strawberry Cream Cake
Recipe courtesy of America's Test Kitchen

Cake:

1 1/4 cups cake flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. table salt
1 cup sugar
5 lg. eggs (2 whole, 3 separated)
Room Temperature
6 tbsp. unsalted butter,
Melted and cooled, slightly
2 tbsp. water
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Strawberry filling:

2 lbs medium or large strawberries
Washed, drained, and stemmed
4-6 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. Kirsch
Pinch table salt

Whipped Cream:

8 ounces cream cheese,
Room Temperature
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/8 tsp. table salt
2 cups heavy cream

1. For the cake: Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 325 F. Grease and flour round 9 by 2-inch cake pan or 9-inch spring form pan and line with parchment paper. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, and all but 3 tbsp. of sugar in a mixing bowl. Whisk in 2 whole eggs and 3 egg yolks (reserving whites), butter, water, and vanilla; whisk until smooth.

2. In a clean bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat remaining 3 egg whites at medium low speed until frothy, 1 to 2 minutes. With machine running, gradually add remaining 3 tbsp sugar, increase speed to med-high and beat until soft peaks form, 1-1 1/2 minutes. Stir one third of the egg whites into batter to lighten; add remaining whites and gently fold into batter until no white streaks remain. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. 30-40 minutes. Cool cake in pan 10 minutes, then invert cake onto creased wire rack;peel off and discard parchment. Invert cake again;cool completely, about 2 hours.

3. For the strawberry filling: Halve 24 of the best-looking berries and reserve. Quarter remaining berries; toss with 4-6 tbsp of sugar (depending on the sweetness of berries) in a medium bowl and let sit 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Strain juices from berries and reserve, you should have about 1/2 cup. In a work bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade, give macerated berries five 1 second pulses. You should have about 1 1/2 cups. In a small sauce pan over med-high heat, simmer reserved juices and Kirsch until syrupy and reduced to about 3 tbsp. 3-5 mins. Pour reduced syrup over macerated berries, add pinch of salt, and toss to combine. Set aside until cake is cooled.

4. For the whipped cream: When the cake has cooled, place cream cheese, sugar, vanilla and salt in bowl of standing mixer fitted with whisk attachment. Whisk at med-high speed until light and fluffy, 1-2 mins. Scraping bowl if necessary. Reduce speed to low and add heavy cream in slow, steady stream; when almost fully combined, increase speed to med-high and beat until mixture holds stiff peaks, 2 to 2 1/2 minutes more, scraping bowl as needed.

5. To assemble the cake: Using a large serrated knife, slice cake into three even layers. Place bottom layer on cardboard round or cake plate and arrange a ring of 20 strawberry halves, cut sides down and stem ends facing out, around perimeter of cake layer. Pour one half of pureed strawberry mixture in center and then spread to cover any exposed cake. Gently spread about one third of whipped cream over berry layer, leaving 1/2 inch border from the edge. Place middle cake layer on top and press down gently (whipped cream layer should become flush with cake edge). Repeat with 20 additional strawberry halves, remaining berry mixture and half of the whipped cream; gently press last cake layer top. Spread with remaining whipped cream over the top; decorate with remaining cut strawberries. Serve, or chill for up to 4 hours.

Berry, hopeful.

Sunny Sunday

2010-08-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

Saturday was a day that was filled with disappointments and I wondered how many things could go wrong in one day before we would "call it a day". It was about midnight, as we were driving back from a long trip that I accepted it and hoped for a brighter tomorrow.

The next day, we woke up late and then lingered in the comfort of our bed as we made plans for our day. We splurged on a delicious coffee drink to go with our cookie, waited patiently at the new coffee place and observed the clever upholstery made from potato sacks, before finally making it to the park.

The park was beautiful and we took complete advantage of it. We laid in the shade and dreamed about the future. Played ball with the kiddos under the big oak trees and then threw up the tiny helicopters in the wind. We ate lunch that "Genius" prepared and enjoyed conversations with our children. They went on to play in the play ground and we continued to be in the moment of perfection.

It was such a release from yesterdays disappointments. There was such a peace about the moment that we stayed, far longer then our usual picnic adventures and loved every minute of it. Taking a small walk with my daughter we stumbled upon a field of fallen pine cones so we motioned for the family to come join us. Of course, pine cones began to be thrown everywhere. One after another hitting each other, sometimes by the handful.

We were happy, satisfied and rested by the end of our weekend. Just what all of us needed before starting another week of chores, cleaning, appointments, and work. More of schedules, compromises, and decisions. Simply put, it was nice to have this moment.

Delighted, hope.

Day in my kitchen

2010-08-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sunday breakfasts are my favorite. We had potato pancakes with a mushroom spinach filling that was topped by an over easy egg. Delicious, but it was doing it Omlette style that proved to be a hit.

Moms potato pancakes.

3 med. potatoes, peeled and shredded
1 egg, beaten in
Salt and pepper to taste

For lunch, my traditional recipe for "Breakfast boats" went lunch today! By substituting the egg with a recipe of "Marinated Tomatoes" it was an easy but perfect combination of flavor.

http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2009/03/great-way-to-start-your-day.html
http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2009/08/everyday-italian.html

Two hearty meals was enough to satisfy our family for the day, but dessert was still unaccounted for so tea seemed appropriate. We get our tea from "Townsheds" check it out at http://www.townshendstea.com/.

Lastly, this is one of my favorite cakes. A simple Strawberry Cream Cake that is exceptional in my books. Stay tuned for a recipe that should be posted this week.

Sunday, hope.

August Give Away!

2010-08-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Spills, splats, slips all happen in the kitchen. I am probably queen of that territory and have been told by more then once that I am the messiest cook. Its true. I am. But that is probably why I always rely on my apron to save me from the many disasters that I create. The thing is, messy never meant ugly and I love to slip on an apron that I can feel cute in.

Inspired by messes and mess-ups I want to give away this apron to my viewers. Send your comments about life inside your kitchen and I will write you in for my monthly giveaway.

Might as well have fun doing it, hope.

July Winner!

2010-07-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for every one's interest in my first give-a-way but as all give-a-ways go, there is only one winner. Roxanne, is the lucky lady that won this month. I am so excited to present this piece to her as she is new to the site and a recent follower to the blog.

Stay tuned for a new give-a-way in August.
Making it from my home to yours, hope.

Knotical Room

2010-07-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Some one very wise once told me that the rule to being blessed is by blessing others. About a month ago I was given a pile of miscellaneous fabrics and I have been looking for special ways to give back a little of what was given to me.

This week as I helped my sister-in-law prepare a guest bedroom for her summer visitors. I made this custom art piece for her Nautical inspired room. I used some the fabric I was given on a set of frames, stapled it to a ply wood board and then formed the knots before gluing them on.

Of course I just couldn't help myself but make the matching decorate pillow you see on the bed (by now you should know my obsession with them). Pulled together with a golden button, it was a simple but yet a favorite piece of mine.

Whimsical details of boats, sailors, and shells added interest to the room but went along well with the functional ones too. Things like towels, slippers, robes, and body products will make the guests feel welcomed and comfortable.

Things that we had to keep in mind was that NOT ALL ocean things will work together. Less is more and simple is best. Picking out just a few favorite things usually helps in any decorating adventure.

In the end, my sister loved the room and thanked me more then I could probably handle. What she doesn't know is that I have been waiting for an opportunity. My blessing to her will in turn be her blessing for the guests staying in that room. So instead I think she gave me a privilege.

Note: The total it took to make this room from nothing to something took approximately $100 dollars.

Linked together, Hope.

Wedding Bells

2010-07-21T18:29:00.001-07:00

I watched the groom wait for his bride. The bride was nothing less than perfect. And as I listened to their written vows, I couldn't help but remember my own. Smiling, at the memory I enjoyed every minute of the wedding. It was private, personal and planned. Everything was orderly and well thought through.

The dance was precious. You could tell the groom was shy about his routine, nervous perhaps but fulfilled the steps none the less with a smile on the whole time. She gracefully moved her body, letting the dress sway along to the rhythm of the music. Beautifully, they danced their way around the floor. And along with everyone else, I was caught in the moment.

The ending brought me very close to tears. It struck my heart so close because at one time he had a place in my life and now, somewhere in between, we parted. It seems to be the case with most family, outside my own life seldom do I find the time for anything else. It wasn't like I regretted anything or expected but watching him dedicate his life to a girl made me think, just a bit.

Perhaps, I could show some interest. Find some time for the people that I so rarely see and swing by once in a while. I would have liked to know a little about her, before the wedding. Hear the story of how they met, when they fell in love, and the ways they fill each other out. Instead, I am a relative that watches from the side lines, only wishing happiness.

Inspired by that day, by everything that is right and white I made a little something. I created this flower for this special season of unity, purity, and beauty. It is almost a dedication for the seemingly effortless love that people have, yet work so hard on.

Forever and ever, hope.

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http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2010/05/mothers-day.html

Boys will be boys

2010-07-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

The children were fast asleep upstairs and we sat on our couch watching the television screen, when a car commercial came on. Within that moment, both of us recalled the accident almost two years ago. Still driving a borrowed vehicle, we knew that we were pushing the limit on it.

The commercial made us laugh, a bittersweet song. He told me about all the places he wants to take us and I believed him. I knew his passion for the road. The kind that takes us to see the first snow fall an hour and a half out, just to stand outside and feel it. Soft and fragile in our hands.

To escape was to drive away for him. Away from the instability of a small business and into the roads of direction. It was hard, hard in a sense that it took away more then our money but his joy. Now, to survive meant to endure and that was the bottom for him.

I listened to him as he recalled all the details of the car he wanted and all the things that would come with it. And, as I sat there listening I found myself doubting his perfect dream. I thought he was being ridiculous. Ridiculous or not, I did acknowledge that men were created a certain way. They were absolutely fascinated with motors, action and speed. Who was I to say what we needed? I know nothing about cars.

Immediately I recalled one of my favorite phrases that I heard early on in our marriage.

Trusting God means trusting your husband. To know that he is the leader of your family and that God is the leader of him. To respect him as you respect the Lord. To follow him and stand by him in all of his decisions and all of his dreams.

So I leaned in and wished along with him.

July Giveaway!

2010-07-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

Right about now summer vacation is in full swing for most parents. To celebrate this season I re-created one of my favorite accessories for girls. My purpose for making this head-band scarf was to keep Jenny's hair out of her face, during all her little activities. The elastic in the back makes it easy to slide on and off, while the detachable flower adds some feminine flair.

Please celebrate with me by posting a comment and in turn I will add your name to a raffle that will be drawn at the end of the month. Thank you.

Details: The head-band is hand made. Wash in regular cycle but lay flat to dry. Iron as needed. The flower is hand stitched but does have glue added so it is not washable but it is detachable. Fits most children from 3-7 years of age.

Share the love, hope.

Summer Berries

2010-07-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

I had an early morning yesterday. By nine o'clock I was at a local produce store watching them unload a fresh assortment of berries. My mouth watered, just at the sight of them and knew that today was the day to bake.

Pavlova
Saveur magazine

4 egg whites, at room temperature
A pinch of salt
1 cup + 2 tbsp superfine sugar
2 tsp cornstarch
1 tsp white vinegar
Few drops vanilla Extract
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
A whole bunch of fresh berries

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, then trace a 10 inch circle on the paper; set aside. Put the egg whites and salt into the clean bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a whisk and beat on medium-low speed until frothy, about 2 mins. Increase speed to medium-high and beat until whites form stiff but not dry peaks, 2-3 mins. Gradually add sugar while beating, then increase speed to high and beat until stiff and glossy, 3-5 mins. Sprinkle cornstarch, vinegar, and vanilla over whites, then gently fold in.

2. Fill traced circle with meringue, smoothing top and sides. Put meringue in middle of oven and reduce heat to 300 F. Bake for 1 hour. Turn off oven and leave meringue inside until completely cool, about 4 hours.

3. Remove paper and place meringue on a cake plate. Whip cream and a little sugar to soft peaks, then pile on top of meringue. Arrange cut fruit over whipped cream. Slice pavlova into wedges to serve.

Sweet, hope.

Reaching the heavens

2010-06-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

The sweet scent of honesty filled the room. Everything was out in the open, and vulnerable she took a chance with me. Pray for me she asked. I could sense the sincerity in her heart, the longing in her eyes and the urgency in her words. Together we agreed that there is nothing more powerful than words, more sudden than regret and more damaged than trust. Together we stood on the edge of our lives, trying to make sense of it.

I could feel her pain so close to me, almost one with me and I prayed the best I could for her, for me and for anyone else wanting this prayer. From the honest part of me, the hopeful part of me and the searching part of me, I let the words coming out of my mouth be words that were filled with purpose.

I began by believing that there is no circumstance that is too big for God to deal with, the understanding that even in our worst timing lies his perfect time and the faith that when all road's seem to be at there end, it is only then when they begin.

Help them see the beginning of their lives. Stir up their love for each other again, remind them of their commitments to one another and help them see past the place they are at. Surround them, be with them, and live in them. Always as the God that you are.

Release them from the guilt that they feel, the hold that the enemy has on them. Instead, open their eyes to each other and accept the truth that is yours instead of the lies that the enemy has made them believe. Help them clearly distinguish what is yours from what is not, through the power of your words and the truth of the bible.

Talk to them. Teach them how to communicate with each other, with understanding and without blame. Begin filling the silence of their lives with your purpose, so that nothing is wasted. Instead let each moment be an opportunity where they could rebuild their trust.

Be their foundation, so that they may not waiver off the path that you have set before them. Let it be stronger and more fierce than what the world offers, than what the enemy holds in his hands. May they not be tempted. Instead, during their faithful walk would you bring wisdom and understanding to their actions and persistence in their minds. Help them fight the fight for what is right.

Most importantly, use this season in their lives to be the season that they see you.

Pray, Hope.

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Ruffled up laundry

2010-06-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

The loads of laundry looked dreadful. Colors, whites, darks, jeans, sheets, and stains ran through my mind. Just the thought of it exhausted me. For those that don't know me, laundry is my least favorite thing. Continually it poses to be an ongoing struggle.

In my first years of marriage, I composed the perfect plan. Laundry day would be my "chick-flick" day. Crying and laughing I would sit in the middle of the piles folding away. Since then our family has doubled and so has our laundry, the children grew up and time escaped. Now, laundry is simply fit in with all of the other stuff. And some days, on my good days, I choose to do it with a smile.

This week, a friend asked me an interesting question "Does it ever get to be enjoyable?" Well, I have never been asked the question before so immediately I began to wonder. Does it? Has it? And will it be?

One thing I knew for sure. I do my chores, no matter what. I hold them equally important to each other, but joy on the other hand, was a little different. The best thing I have, is that I seem to easily recognize the things I don't like and to try to find ways to make it into some thing I do.

For instance, people think that I have a passion for cooking. And it might seem that way, but the truth is that I have a passion for new flavors and if I don't cook up something new, by itself it is not a passion at all. Early on I discovered that if I wanted delicious, I would need to make it delicious. Now I just follow the instructions of people who do have a passion for it.

Cleaning is another big one that I get asked all the time. For me, cleaning is one way I help free my mind of the clutter that I can control. By taking a few minutes out of my day, I find that I am in a better mood and less overwhelmed. This way I can spend the rest of my time filling it in with the things that I love.

I love having friends over, I love making things for them and with them. I love the feeling I get when I spend the day enjoying the sun and doing nothing at all, but having every thing done. I love to create and implement it into every area I can. That I have a passion for and I use it to drive me to do the things that I don't.

But joy? Sometimes I just hum the line "Our joy comes from the Lord".

On the other hand, there also comes along moments, right after laundry and in between dinner where I have a small amount of time to be free. And in this ruffle, joy happened.

Joyous, hope.

Tea Party

2010-06-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

I don't try to throw the most outrageous parties, just the ones I can afford. Very often, I find myself smiling at a fifty dollar budget. Visualizing the grand possibilities that always seem to push my creativity. I actually love challenges because instead of seeing limitations I try to see opportunities and this was one of those times.

(Dishes, borrowed $0)

Using a set of the classic "blue and white" dishes I started to create my palate. I knew that they were not the traditional colors for a girls baby shower, but I also knew that being different had a way of grasping attention so instead of changing them I crossed my fingers and took a chance. One thing about taking chances is that you can't let people influence your decision, believe in yourself and in your idea.

(Napkins, Ikea. Table cloth $25)

Even though I was pretty certain that the colors would be beautiful, I also looked for ways to add femininity to the table. At the time adding gold and yellow seemed like a good idea until I realized that they were "Royal" colors. Not wanting the guests to think that this was for a "little-prince-in-waiting" I felt stumped.

(Paper birds $6, spray painted curly willow $3)
(Plants from the yard $0)

Seeing as the weather was going to be warming up, I took the extra step in taking the table outside. I felt that it would lighten the atmosphere and give my mind some much needed air. Looking out, I recalled the popular phrase "Easy, breezy, beautiful....Cover girl" With that said, a new direction was inspired. White curtains, fresh fragrances, barefoot pleasures, and elegance. Were the few feminine things that I wanted to incorporate.

(Furniture and curtains I had so $0, lanterns $1 each)

Excited about my new approach I spent the next two weeks preparing. It seemed that even though I had my ideas in place and my challenges faced, I knew that more importantly, more then the decor, more then anything. Women love food. To gather, to sip and to chat amongst ourselves, some would say, is what we live for. But just as we would dress ourselves to the occasion we must also dress our food.

Our eyes like to be drawn to things that excite us and make us wonder. Wanting to create visual appeal I tried to incorporate this to the perimeter of the table. Adding personal dessert trifles and a delicious brew of pomegranate iced tea were ways I added texture and appeal. Quietly, they proclaimed themselves "personal".

But no matter how well any party is planned, it is still dependent on your guests for a great turnout. Being personal is one way to make your guests to feel welcomed and comfortable. It is by them that the mood of the party is determined, so when I looked at all the bare foot ladies in this picture I finally accepted that this was a success.

Verse of the week:

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing
some people have entertained angels without knowing it"

Hebrews 13:2

Holy Rain

2010-06-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

They say that the North West has hundreds of names for rain. This week it rained Holy rain. Not very often do the heavens fall down on me, drenching me with their grace. So I watched the rain as it continued to pour, breaking all records and penetrating into every root of life, including mine.

In the day that that work overwhelmed me, he was there with a solution. With a person and a plan that exceeded anything I could have even prayed for. Relieved, I rested in his rest.

In the day when I had nothing, He was there with everything. With a person and plan that was uncalled for but at the same time very much appreciated. Excited, I rejoiced in him.

In the day when I was doubting, He was there with a gift. With a person and a plan that was personal to me. Thankful, I accepted it.

In the day when I didn't have enough time, He was there with plenty. With a person and a plan He offered me help. And I took advantage of it.

For four days he poured into me, into my life, and into each desire. He was there. I think he was building me up for the last day when we received an offer on our house. Taken a back I questioned him. I asked him if this was his will and he spoke...

"Look at your week, look at what I have done for you. Of course my hand is on this." He said.

Reassured, I let him take it. I knew that His will was better then mine. I knew that He was able to do anything that he willed to do. And that even my desires were part of his plan.

Verse of my week:

"Because I am doing something in your days-You would not believe if you were told"
Habakkuk 1:5

His plans, my hope.

Favor Flavor

2010-06-04T15:33:00.000-07:00

This mushroom dish is an adopted version of an appetizer 'Genius' and I had at a restaurant years ago. Sparking up old memories we spent the evening trying to capture the moment again by piecing together his recollection and mine. After we paired it with a bottle of wine and fresh bread, there could not have been anything better to bring our day to a close.

Mushrooms

6 cups Mushrooms, halved

1 shallot, minced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 cup of Sherry
1/2 cup of beef broth
8 tbsp unsalted butter
Parsley, chopped

Melt 2 tbsp of butter with 1 tbsp olive oil in a large frying pan. Add the quartered mushrooms and saute until their juices release and they begin to brown, about 5 minutes. Reducing the heat to medium, continue to cook the mushrooms. Stir frequently as they brown, deepening the color. This should take another 10 minutes.

Add the garlic and shallots to the mushrooms and stir for a minute to release the flavors. Add the wine and stir for another minute letting it reduce slightly. Add the broth and allow the mixture to cook for another minute before turning it off. Swirl in the last of the butter, one tbsp at a time to create a silky and buttery sauce. Adjust the seasonings with salt and pepper and serve with warm bread.

Sprinkle with parsley or any of your favorite herbs. If your having it with steak, blue cheese would also be a great option. Enjoy.

Verse of my week:

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. Ecclesiastes 9: 7

Hope.

Helping hands

2010-05-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

From a young age, Jenny would ask if I needed help. "No, let me finish this off myself" I'd say. "But mom....if two people work together, you'd be done much faster" she'd reply.

Little did I know that my girl had already begun to understand the concept of time. And she wholeheartedly believed that if I had more time, I would have time for her. So she did what any child could. She found small moments of possibility and asked "Can you play with me now?"

Little did she know that in a adult world there is never enough time. Even with her longing heart, her held back tears and all her strength it still took a change in me to realize that I needed to learn how to "hear" their cries and not so easily excuse them. So I started to search for moments when I could play with my children instead of finding reasons not to.

When I look at them, I see their patience. The real kind of patience that waits on people to finish and even helps. Not once being bitter, not once getting mad but hanging on to the words of promise. And when the clock strikes 1, I can almost see her face light up as she runs up the stairs to get her things. After all the barbies are in the kitchen we make lunch and discuss the plan for the next little while.

We usually have dessert with them. This one is out of yellow sponge, cut out and painted.

Perhaps get ready for a party. This ring was made our of wire and beads attached to a gem.

And some times go on a adventure. So much can happen in the back yard of a home.

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3-4

Make time, hope.

Reign Down

2010-05-19T16:13:00.000-07:00

The rains came in, pouring down heavily on my heart. In many ways today was a result of yesterdays problems and I knew it. Frustration had a way of coming out in questions and I wondered why God would stir up a hope that was meant for failure? What was the point of that? And now what, now what God?

I sit and I wait, I wait and I hope. At this point I wonder if I even have hope? Especially the kind that endures. I wonder how I could feel his presence all around me but yet feel so alone? I wonder how the bible can make so much sense but at the same time not be enough? I wonder if my confusion it that of doubt? I know if I doubt, I doubt him. PERIOD.

I drown myself in music, feeding off the words. Tasting their desperation in the moment that's very much my own.

Here I am down on my knees again,

Fighting to live and to breathe again,
Only surrender will help me now,
Only You can even take me now.
I know in this pain there is healing,
I believe in Your name, I find healing
Holding on another day...
Just to see what You will throw my way.
Falling apart, barely breathing
Broken heart, that's still beating
For every life there is reason.

There is something about words that's so powerful. But I had nothing left to say, nothing more to give and nothing else I could do. So I sat on the floor of my closet and let my heart do the talking this time, do the listening this once. With barely enough time to compose myself I heard the phone ring.

The conversation was about a girl who was drowning, deeper and deeper. With each moment she felt weaker, unable to move or to choose. Unable to fight she lets herself be attacked while every bone in her body cries out for help. Even in her state, when nothing can matter, she still hears the whispers of God. She still sees his hand upon her broken, tiny, frail, self and she cries. She cries because she wonders how she can feel his presence all around but yet feel so alone? She wonders why the bible makes so much sense but at the same time not be enough? In her confusion she begins to doubt. To doubt God, To doubt love, To doubt life.

In the depth of my despair I began to see the fingerprint of God on the whole day. How he used me and my situation to stir up feeling and even doubt just so I could understand this girl and pray a prayer for her. And maybe, when she lies awake at night that little voice inside her head will ring a little louder.

I sang the songs again, a song of hope for her.
Friends, hope.

"The Works"

2010-05-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Lagmaun

This recipe takes flavor to a whole new level. It is fresh and savory, garlicky and spicy, and flavorful but not overpowering. Seriously, this meal is the whole deal. So let's cook!

Step 1:

1 1/2 lbs. Sirloin Steak
1 tbsp oil
28 oz canned tomatoes
2 bay leaves
2-3 tomatoes, diced

Heat a tablespoon of oil in a deep skillet. Cut up a pound of Sirloin Steak, or any cut of lean beef. Saute, the beef on high until it looses its pink color. Add diced tomatoes and diced fresh tomatoes. Add a little salt and a the bay leaves, cover and let simmer on low for about an hour.

Step 2:

2 medium potatoes, cubed
2 onions, cubed
2 bell peppers, cubed
2 carrots, cubed
1 eggplant, cubed
2 zucchini, cubed
2 parsnips, cubed
2 turnips, cubed

Heat the oven to 375 F. Cube the potatoes and onions and place on one baking sheet, pour a small amount of olive oil on the baking sheet and stir the veggies to coat. Place the sheet on the top rack in the oven. While that begins to bake, cube the bell peppers and carrots of similar size and place on the second sheet. Repeat with the coating of oil. Place in the oven on the bottom rack. While this is baking cut up the parsnip and turnip, also of similar size and check on the potatoes in about 10 minutes. If they have begun to brown, they are ready.

In a large, empty pot place the browned potatoes and onions in. On the now empty baking sheet place the parsnips and turnips. Repeat with the coating of oil. Transfer the bottom baking sheet to the top and then put the parsnips and turnips on the bottom rack. This is done for even baking. Lastly, cube the eggplant and zucchini, and wait for the other veggies to finish baking. Once they are, add them to the pot and on the 2 empty baking sheets place the eggplant and zucchini. Repeat with the coating of oil and bake in the oven until ready.

Step 3:

1 lb of Linguine noodles

While the last of your veggies are baking, take out another pot to cook the pasta in. Follow the directions for the pasta on the box. Coat with oil and set aside.

Step 4:

(without water added, yet)

Check back with the eggplant. If it is ready and beginning to brown add it to the main veggie pot and then check your meat. By now, it should be tender when pierced with a fork. Add it to the pot with all of the veggies and then pour in enough water to double the amount that was in the pot. The consistency should be that of a hearty soup. Bring the stew to a boil and add salt and pepper to taste, simmer for 5 minutes to blend the flavors together.

Step 5:

1/2 English cucumber,
mandolin-ed or grated
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1/2 cup of vinegar
Salt and Pepper

In a small bowl stir together all of the ingredients. Set aside.

Step 6:

1 can of Salsa (I use Trader Joes)
1/2 or more of Jalapeno, diced
Fresh Cilantro, chopped
1-2 Fresh tomatoes

In a food processor, pulse all of the ingredients together. Set aside in a bowl.

Step 7:

A pot of stew.
A pot of noodles.
A bowl of Cucumber salad.
A bowl of Pureed Salsa.

There is no right or wrong in this but basically you just pour yourself a bowl of veggie stew and add as many noodles as you like. Top it off with some salsa and cucumber salad. To eat, just stir together and enjoy, to make it easier use both a spoon and a fork :)

You might also enjoy this Veggie recipe.
http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2009/06/mmmmmixed-vegtables.html

Step by step, Hope.

Mother's day

2010-05-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

There are three things in my life that I don't question. The love of my family, the love of my kids and the love of God. We are bonded together by blood, forever. As short as the minutes in a day to the depths of the heavens in eternity, I love them and they love me back. Now, there are also three things in my life that I have to continue to show love in order for them to know it. My husband, my in-laws and my friends.

This mother's day I wanted to give my mother in law something that was not only FROM me but also WAS me. It is often said that the gift means more to the giver than the receiver and that was my intention this week.

She, like many women love accessories, delicate and beautiful things so I made this especially for her. I started with Dupioni Silk because it is known for it's depth. Nothing on earth has more depth then people. The pearl in the center was placed to match her beloved necklace. I noticed she only wears it when she feels the most beautiful. Beads were spun with a little modern flair to fit this century. To let her know that she is needed today, tomorrow and in the days ahead. Finished, I saw the diamonds last. I saw them symbolizing perfection, because she, like you and me, was created in God's image. Individual personality is breathtaking.

"For love is shown through our actions"

Mother's, hope.

Art Geek

2010-04-26T18:40:00.000-07:00

High schools need to prepare you for the world and in that sense I think it completely did. Located in the heart of down town one of the ways we were spoiled was with the food from local businesses. Many of our lunch times were spent sitting in pizzeria's, bakeries and coffee shops. I just couldn't help but notice the delicate placed garnish's or complex sauces bordering the plates. Before I knew it I was drawn into the art of presentation.

In addition to its prime location, H.B Beal was very much esteemed for its Art Program. In the basement of our three story school we had black rooms, animation rooms, pottery kilns, fabric presses, model stages and what-ever else. I was eager to join the lower level club but at the same time they were also the people I felt I was nothing like. I wouldn't allow myself to be who I wanted to be but what was wanted of me. I knew that this was pretty typical, so I allowed the building itself to give me the courage to become me. To be creative, even if it meant that it would have to be in the basement of my heart.

Today, I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go to school that wasn't as academic as it was creative. I know now that what I experienced there was an introduction to my life. I was able to see groups of kids that didn't follow trends, but make them. I was also able to see how "nothing" became "something" and what happens when the heart leads the hands. Absolutely, did that make an impact on my life and today I finally confess that I am an "Art Geek".

During a craft night a couple months ago, I made a bow. Well a couple days later that nothing became a something and my hands were lead. Even though I only added a pleated skirt and a bow to an existing tank top, I loved the transformation so I feel a need to share. Perhaps you too have a little spark in your heart and just in case you may also have a tank top just lying around. Be encouraged in knowing that our god is a creative god who made us in his image.

My verse this week:
God saw all that he made, and it was very good. Genesis 1:31

This week I needed security in that.

Confident, hope.

My Portion

2010-04-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sharing is not dependent on feelings, likes or dislikes but rather a willingness to give away regardless. A portion of your portion.

Honestly that was the hardest for me, learning how to give away something that I believed was a part of me. I felt that my successes were ME, so to "share" would mean I would have to let go of the one thing I held on to. My pride.

Isn't that what it is? Family recipes? Special Sauces? Best kept Secrets? We are people that want to have something to claim, something that would set us apart from the person sitting next to us. To give away my best, I usually need to make a choice. And this was me, up until I read this.

Once you wrap your mind around the favor God has had on you and the richness of the portion He assigned to you, even through disaster, you can't help but share your portion with others.

Lots of times it is when the world is being shaken around you that you see what you have been given. I have been given an opportunity to share. To give you my portion of the portion I have been given, because sometimes a change in action does not mean a change in perspective.

Chipotle-Rubbed Salmon Tacos

Rub:
2 tbsp Mayonnaise
1 tsp. Fresh Lime juice
2 tsp. Chipotle Chile Powder
2 tsp. Grated Orange Zest
2 tsp. Sugar
1 lb Wild Salmon
1 tbsp plus 1 tsp Extra-Virgin Oil
8 Corn Tortillas
Salt
1 Hass Avocado, Mashed
1 cup shredded cabbage
Apple-Cucumber Salsa
* I used an assortment of fish and tripled the recipe.

Apple-Cucumber Salsa:

1 Granny Smith Apple- Peeled, cored and diced finely
1/2 cucumber-peeled, seeded and diced finely
1/2 red onion, diced finely
1/2 red bell pepper, diced finely
1 1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 1/2 tsp sugar
Salt, add to taste
* I used only half of the apple.

1. In a bowl, toss the apple with the cucumber, onion and pepper. Stir in the vinegar and sugar, season with salt.

2. Preheat the oven to 350 F. In a small bowl whisk the mayonnaise with the lime juice. In another bowl, combine the chipotle powder with the orange zest and sugar. Rub each piece of salmon with 1 tsp of the oil and then with the chipotle-orange zest mixture. Let stand for 5 minutes.

3. Wrap the tortillas in foil and bake for about 8 minutes, until they are softened and heated through.

4. Meanwhile, heat grill pan. Season the salmon with salt and grill over high heat until nicely browned and just cooked through, about 3 minutes per side.

5. Gently break each piece of salmon in half. Spread mashed avocado on the warm tortillas and top with the Salmon, Apple-Cucumber Salsa and the Cabbage. Drizzle each taco with the lime mayonnaise and serve right away.

Pieces of me, hope.

Sunny day

2010-04-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

Statement necklace made by Nadia Chernichenko

There are days when it feels like I am extremely busy. And not the good, doing something purposeful kind of feeling but more like running around in the same circle, continually. The beginning of last week was kind of like that, except I couldn't stop because I wouldn't let myself. I worked on this piece for hours and if no one was dependent on it, giving up would have been easy but the problem is that sometimes I promise things I don't know if I can even deliver. So be warned. It was exhausting up until I decided to take the opportunity to learn from it. The desire was definitely there, it was just the skill that needed to be mastered. I do believe that our desires aspire to something and even though it took a couple of days, several runs to the store and probably one to many burns. I was nearing completion.

Trial and error proved itself to me this week, but with all this work I was drained. I needed some bounce back into my day. With a name like "Sunny", I would expect to get nothing less. Two hours later I not only felt better but I believed it and only a certain kind of person has that kind of gift. I have recently realized that feeling better and believing it's going to get better are two different kind of things. I left her house energized and glad I had people in my life who know just what to offer, what to say and what to do.

By Friday, I had finished the three pieces and still had the day ahead of me so I took a big break and went on a hunt to find a lamp. Along with adding a lamp, I hung up some curtains to keep the bugs out on days when the weather allows for our doors to be open. I also added an extra blanket and a few more pillows for when the rains come in. The kind of days when we hang out on the couch. Lazy days, cozy days, sick days and Sun-days.

As I sat and looked around I felt happy. Happy that I have a family and thankful that I have a home. The simplest things can make me happy, when I do the things I love. Those little extra's that seem so irrelevant to my family are things that are actually for them. I know that my mood and the atmosphere of our home sets the mood for the entire family. I sighed, took a deep breath and smiled as I waited for my stomach to butterfly. It still does when I hear the sound of the door being unlocked. Bags dropped, keys placed and shoes taken off. Nothing can be better then hearing the familiar sound of "Honey....I'm home".

Verse of my Week:

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Hope.

Feeling Down

2010-04-12T15:49:00.000-07:00

Last week I got to think and cruise the web. This in fact, got me a little discouraged as I looked back on my blog. It seemed that everybody else had an effortless, talented gift given to them and I scrambled to find words to write. With both a negative heart and a complainant mouth I poured into my husband for some relief. What I got, changed my perspective.

The things I gained were by far more then I could ask for from an internet-based information site. I strengthened relationships, learned how to collect thoughts and ideas together, grasp the basics on camera skills, and communicate my ideas a little better.

Now that I know how to do all these things I feel like I can add to my blog, not just the how-to's and do's of my day but everything else. I want to add another side to the hope that keeps me going. The people that are sent to encourage me and the kids that put smiles on my face, everyday to tell me that it will be okay. It is about how I see God and when. My life journal but with photos of the beautiful things that I love to look at, do and see.

I feel better, Thank you!

Dish it out

2010-03-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

Dishes to me are simply that. Dishes. Or so I thought, until I spotted this amazing dinner plate with handles at the Dollar store. I grabbed all of them, because at this point it wasn't about want or need it was about BARGAINS and bargains surpass all the rules in my book. 13 dinner plates have never been so admired by a person, and I lovingly divided them out. Six were given away for an event I was helping with and the other seven were for...Me! Of course I wanted one more to complete my table setting of eight, but four locations later I was walking out empty handed from each one. Sad but true, perhaps you can find them near you!

With one dollar plates I allowed myself to splurge. Just a week later, I bought these cake stands from Costco. It is my very first set and I am pretty excited to add them to my kitchen collection. Using them as a centerpiece was another way for me to display a tiny tea set and the 'Tea Forte' teas. Tea forte, is known for their pyramid shaped boxes and unique combination of flavors. Check them out http://www.teaforte.com/. I order my favorite loose leaf teas online but in the meantime keep my eyes open at discount places for 'out of season' flavors. I found a box of Pomegranate Blackberry iced tea at TJ Max for pennies. The best part is, that the boxes open from the bottom so as you use up the tea, you could also fill the boxes with dried lavender to keep on the table.

Brew up, hope.

Catch Up!

2010-03-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

So it finally hit me. I was sick and I wasn't taking it well. First I took too many vitamins to boost the immune and then I walked around the house refusing to rest. I was in this groove of being frustrated and exhausted when I cut myself making a salad. As I sat in urgent care I realized how much it took for me to stop. A glued up finger and a bill in my hand I somehow reached my "aha!" moment.

I needed to stop and so I did, until today. Yay. I am back on my feet. I bought a couple new pillows (Liberty from Target is awesome!), caught up on a billion loads of laundry and started working on my new job of what I like to call "encouraging-my-husband". First day in, I worked on his business website, spent a little play time with the kids, cleaned the house and had enough time to throw together a chili.

I know it sounds like a bunch of stuff but I have been collecting energy for a week now, besides the best chili is the one our friends "The Roaches" make and I can't compete. With that said, "Bear Creek's" Darn-good chili works for me. I like to put my own veggies and meat in it with a can of diced tomatoes, its a hassle-free chili that is ready in half an hour.

The days are good again. Brighter even in a gloomy day like today.

Back on schedule, ladies. Hope, hope, hope, hope, hope :)

Pantry Procrastination

2010-03-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

I have been putting my pantry off for a while but when I found these plastic lids to the cans that I already had it seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally do something about it.

The first thing I did was give all the items in my pantry a category.

- Baking, Except for flours which I store in a separate drawer for easy reach.
- Grains, I have about 15 different kinds that I use for cooking.
- Canned goods, and this includes every type.
- Snacks for kids
- Sweet Treats for the Adults
- Boxed things that don't fall into the previous categories.
- Packages that don't stand up need to be put in square baskets.

Next, I organized all the neat things like boxes and then the packaged things, which mostly contained snacks that had to be put in plastic baskets. I determined the best places for them and put them on shelves based on use. I did the canned things and bottled things. I had a lot, and the cans worked well in the pantry but things like spices, oils and vinegars did better in a cabinet. I also had a bunch of sweet, sugary stuff that did better in a basket and further away from the children.

Now comes the reason for this post, filling those jars. Before I could never remember what I had in comparison to what I didn't. Bags that were taped and placed on top of the other was not an organization method I could work with so this was an improvement and now I know why.
I had.....

- brown and red lentils
- white and brown rice
- white and red beans
- corn meal
- Bulgar wheat
- Corn meal, or polenta
- oats and cream of wheat
- whole wheat and white spaghetti
- linguine and other dry pastas
- Chow Mien noodles
- Pearl Barley

....in the grains and wheat section.

I had.....

- white, dark, milk and semi-sweet chocolate chips.
- Almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, peanuts and sunflower seeds
- raisins, cranberries and currants
- dark and light brown, white and powdered sugars
- cornstarch and baking powder
- cocoa powder
- unsweetened and sweetened coconut
- rapid and active yeast

....in the baking section.

Well that does it, and as I expand my methods in the kitchen I am sure my pantry will continue to grow. What I have found is that I am able to look inside and see what areas need to be filled when I prepare my grocery list for the week.

This was simply my side of my kitchen so thank you for letting me share. If this sounds like something you want to do in your pantry I bought the lids at Fred Meyers and they were under four dollars for a box of 8.

Organizing, hope.

Growing a Sewing Seed

2010-03-09T11:33:00.001-08:00

I have been dreaming about a craft room for a few years now but only recently did I finally find a place for my sewing machine. It was interesting to find that walking by it several times a day, ideas would come. Everything seemed like it needed to be altered, adjusted and fixed. Recalling a fabric sample I purchased years ago, I couldn't help but play around with it.

Later, when I watched her twirl about I realized that I potentially planted my very own seed for sewing, just by making some room on a counter. This was also the very first "wearable" thing I have ever made and taking just an hour to make, I was excited to hopefully be able to add a whole new collection of these spring skirts to my little girl's closet.

Placed, hope.

Pome-quat Salmon Salad

2010-03-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

About a month ago we went to "The Fish Grotto" in Portland for dinner. It was a restaurant that had a better impression in the inside then on the outside. It was very dark inside, with leather upholstery and rich finishes on the wood and I was skeptical at first. Darkness bothers me, to me it feels unsanitary in a hidden kind of way but looking around I noticed that even though the place was old it was very clean as well as updated. Using modern lighting they somehow managed to make the atmosphere seem light and easy. Looking at the menu it offered the usual classic dishes and I searched for something new. Its not always that I know exactly what I want, but this happened to be a day where I did. I wanted sweetness to be set apart with tartness, crisp to contrast against the smooth finish, and fruity to be savory.

This was not traditional by any means and I asked the waiter if they had any specials. As it turned out they did. With the restaurant being so old they kept the classic menu as well as hire on a chef that could create a "specials" menu every week using seasonal ingredients. I was thrilled to eat a salad that kept me interested enough to not only attempt to make at home but crave it again and again.

Here is my version, it doesn't do it justice but I still love it.

Kumquat and Pomegranate Salmon Salad

1/2 cup of Kumquats
1/2 cup of Pomegranate Seeds
(Trader Joes has Frozen ones)
1/2 cup green onion
1/2 Bunch Green leaf lettuce
Salmon, salted and fried.

Orange Muscat Champagne Vinaigrette

1/4 cup Muscot Orange Champane Vinegar
(Get it at Trader Joes)
1/3 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Little bit of honey
Salt and Pepper to Taste

Make the salad by chopping the greens, halving the Kumquats and shredding the salmon. Add the pomegranate seeds and make the vinaigrette. Since it is a small batch I use a medium measuring cup and whisk. Add the honey, vinegar and a pinch of salt as well as pepper. Begin to whisk the ingredients as you add the oil in a steady stream until incorporated. Taste the flavor because I don't measure the amount of oil so you might need to adjust it a little to suit your preference.

Seasonal, Hope

Blue Jeans

2010-03-01T16:19:00.000-08:00

Today I felt inspired by an old pair of jeans. Besides needing an alteration I used the bottom edge to create this adorable accessory for my "American Girl". Taking about 10 minutes out of my day we had enough time to go play at a park.

It can be used as a belt, head band or anything else you can tie it up to. I did find that the jean material is heavy so keep that in mind. All in all, I love the look and I am excited to hem up another pair of jeans, just to see what else it can do.

To create this, simply cut the bottom edge off the length of the pants. Cut on one of the seams to break open the circle and starting from one end roll it up. Use a glue gun to glue as you roll. Attach the flowers together and pick a ribbon, elastic or headband to attach them to. To finish, cut out some felt for the backing and attach.

The fun part is that the more distressed it is, the better. So find that old pair of jeans your daughter doesn't fit into any more and make them into something she can.

Blue Jean, hope.

Drawn to Details

2010-02-23T14:24:00.000-08:00

I like things to be hindering above the surface, quietly. The kind of things that can easily be missed. The flavors that linger in your mouth and you just can't put your finger on it. Things that you taste, see and touch that make you wonder why you even like them. Anything that makes me do a double take, I am drawn to.

Right on the sidewalk we found this little birds nest at a park, abandoned and wet. Now, perched up on the branches I have found it a new home and a new owner. This porcelain bird was a gift from my sister-in-law, chirping around from season to season it made its way to an egg.

If you liked this you may also enjoy http://outtoimpress-hope.blogspot.com/2009/03/spring-time-forward.html
Lingering, hope.

Women Mentoring Women

2010-02-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

We each have our great moments. The days where the sun shines brighter, our smile is wider and our lives are right where they need to be. In between those days there are days where we battle our kids, contemplate our choices and wonder if there is anything more to our lives. It seems that in a month's worth of time I am on a roller coaster of a ride and without doubt I know that there will be a day when I will simply be EXHAUSTED. Being a person who is pretty upbeat about life, I believe that my choices make my life to be as simple or complicated as I like. The truth is that no matter how great my life is, is is still filled with doubts, fears and struggles. On those days I need some thing that I can feel safe in, a place where I can unload the biggest load and be understood. Spiritually, I seek comfort in words at a time when I feel like I am lacking and fallen short of my purpose in not only my family but myself.

For these reasons and more I encourage you to find a Women's group that will welcome you. People that share their struggles so that you can face them without fear. Women that come together and empower one another because they understand that this journey is not your's to be taken alone but with the help of each other. I look forward to learning from people who have made it, women that have raised there children to be servants for the lord. Women that have lived, worked, breathed the air that I am. Women that have fallen down and stood back up to tell me their testimony, just so that it would be easier for me. (Contact me if this is something you are interested in).

Each month I bake a little treat for the center of the table. This month it was scones and if anytime soon you will be having a "sunshine kind of morning" perhaps you might be enlightened enough to bake these.

Currant Scones
Recipe courtesy of Williams Sonoma

Scones

2 14 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup firmly packed golden brown sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
6 Tbsp chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 large egg
3/4 cup heavy cream plus more for glazing
1/2 cup dried currants
1/4 cup minced crystallized ginger
3 tbsp. granulated sugar

Brown Sugar Butter:

1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 tbsp. firmly packed dark brown sugar

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Lightly butter a rimmed baking sheet.

To make the scones in a food processor, combine the flour, golden brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salg and pulse briefly to mix. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture resembles course corn meal. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and the 3/4 cup cream until blended. Pour the egg mixture into the processor and pulse just until the mixture holds together.

Turn mixture out onto a lightly floured work surface, knead in the currants and ginger, and bring the dough together into a ball. Using a floured rolling pin, roll out the dough 1/2 inch thick. Using a fluted biscuit cutter 3 inches in diameter, cut out as many rounds. Gather the scraps into a ball and roll out again. Transfer the rounds to the prepared baking sheet, brush the tops lightly with cream and sprinkle evenly with sugar.

Bake the scones until golden, about 15 mins. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool for at least 15 mins or for up to 1 hour before serving.

Meanwhile make the brown sugar butter: in a bowl, whisk together the butte rand sugar until well combined and creamy. Pack into a crock and set aside.

More, hope

Valentines Day

2010-02-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

This was written and inspired by love, from a boy to a girl. Long ago, when I was young...er.

It is twenty past eight and I'm standing alone, thinking of you again.
I stand staring at the water as it jumps with each drop of summer rain.
Like the beating of one's heart.

The grass is laden with dew;the air is filled with the scent of new beginnings,
And yet all I can think about....is you.

I stand atop this hill alone, gazing deeply into nature's glory.
Her beauty is serene, it is absolute, and it is the perfect story.
I see the beauty of God's creation and it make me want to cry,
I shed a tear, so sincere, I wipe it from my eye.

I cannot help but look in awe;I see it in the distance
God has given me a perfect rainbow. Time stands still, just this single instance.

The moment seems too perfect, this perfect place in time,
It seems too good to be so real, this moment cannot be mine.
For in my heart I feel so empty, there is but one thing on my mind
I am thinking of you and only you,
Why, oh why must I die with so much inside?

God has given me this perfect moment, in this perfect place in time,
Yet you are not here to share it, you cannot see it, You cannot feel its wondrous grace.

Oh, how I wish you were here with me, to see this glorious view,
For I would give up all of this just to be with you.
You are my beauty, my paradise, my wondrous delight.
But how it saddens me inside that I cannot be your knight.

I feel a pain you cannot know, I hold a sadness I will not show
I hear a thunder in the distance;I see a vision of us,
And I feel the pain that was given on a sad day of loss.

Why had I been so timid, why was I so damn shy;
I should have asked you for your hand before I let you fly.
My chance with you seems over now;I have fallen out of place;
I cannot let you know my feelings; I would not dare loose face.

For if you and me meant hurting you, than I would not interfere;
I would not break your happiness with the one you hold so dear.
I only wish to tell you so; I love you may then you may ever know,
I know this now from knowing you; I cannot deny it...It is true.

We have been so close these past few years, for all this reason, I come to tears.
It seemed so right, It was meant to be
But you chose some one you barely knew, Instead of choosing me.

Why? Oh, God, how could I have been so blind? This is not paradise I see
It is only in my mind. For in my thoughts my vision is true; I can see me here with only you!

Paradise is such a place for it would hold such glory;
I wish that I could be with you, you are my perfect story.
A thousand words I have to say, not one of them describes,
The way I feel in my heart, the way I feel inside.

If one thousand poets were given one thousand years,
If one thousand lovers were to shed one thousand tears,
Not one of these in the heavens above could ever come close
To the love I have for you.

The mere sight of you has always made me weak;
Even today I still get nervous when I am with you,
I find it hard to speak.

For this reason, I wrote my heart out.

Triple Chocolate Mousse Cake

2010-02-11T17:25:00.000-08:00

Base Layer

6 tbsp Unsalted Butter, cut into 6 pieces
7 oz. Bittersweet Chocolate, chopped fine
3/4 tsp. instant espresso powder
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
4 lg. eggs, separated
1 pinch salt
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar

Middle Layer

2 tbsp. Dutch-processed cocoa powder
5 tbsp. hot water
7 oz. bittersweet chocolate, chopped fine
1 1/2 cup cold heavy cream
1 tbsp sugar
1/8 tsp. salt

Top Layer

3/4 tsp powdered gelatin
1 tbsp. water
6 oz. white chocolate, chopped fine
1 1/2 cups cold heavy cream
Shaved Chocolate for serving (optional)

For the Base Layer:

Adjust an oven rack to the middle position and heat the oven to 325 F. Grease the bottom and sides of a 9 1/2 by 3 inch spring form pan. Melt the butter, chocolate and espresso powder in a large heat proof bowl set over a saucepan filled with 1 inch of barely simmering water stirring occasionally until smooth. Remove from the heat and cool for 5 minutes. Whisk in the vanilla and egg yolks; set aside.

In the clean bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the egg whites and salt at medium speed until frothy, about 30 secs. Add half of the brown sugar and beat until combined, about 15 secs. Add the remaining brown sugar and beat at high speed until soft peaks form, about 1 minute longer,. Using a whisk, fold in one-third of the beaten whites into the chocolate mixture. Using a rubber spatula, ford in the remaining whites until no streaks remain. Transfer the batter to the spring form pan, gently smoothing the top with a spatula.

Bake until the cake's center has set but is still soft (it will spring back after pressing gently with your finger) 13-18 mins. Transfer the cake to a wire rack to cool completely, about 1 hour. The cake will collapse as it cools, do not remove the cake from the pan.

For the middle layer:

Combine the cocoa powder and hot water in a small bowl;set aside. Melt the chocolate in a large heatproof bowl set over a saucepan filled with 1 inch of barely simmering water, stirring occasionally until smooth. Remove from the heat and cool slightly. 2 to 5 mins.

In the clean bowl of a stanad mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the cream, sugar and salt at the medium speed until it begins to thicken, about 30 secs. Increase the speed to high and whip until soft peaks form, 15 to 60 secs. Whisk in the cocoa powder mixture in the melted chocolate until smooth. Using a whisk, fold on-third of the whipped cream into the chocolate mixture. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the remaining whipped cream until no streaks remain. Spoon the mousse over the cooled cake and gently tap the pan on the counter 3 times to remove any large air bubbles: gently smooth the top with an offset spatula. Wipe the inside edge of the spring form pan with a damp cloth to remove any drips. Refrigerate the cake at least 15 mins while preparing the white chocolate mousse.

For the top layer:

In a small bowl, sprinkle the gelatin over the water; let stand at least 5 mins. Place the white chocolate in a medium bowl. Bring 1/2 cup of the cream to a simmer in the small saucepan over medium-high heat. Remove from the heat; add the gelatin mixture and stir until fully dissolved. Pour the cream mixture over the chocolate and whisk until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth, about 30 secs. Cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally, 5-8 mins, until thickened.

In the clean bowl of the stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip the remaining 1 cup cream at medium speed until it begins to thicken, about 30 secs. Increase the speed to high and whip until soft peaks form when the whisk is lifted, 15 to 60 secs. Using a whisk, fold in 1/3 of the whipped cream into the white chocolate mixture to lighten. Using a rubber spatula, fold in the remaining whipped cream into the white chocolate mixture until no white streaks remain. Spoon the white chocolate mousse into the pan over the bittersweet chocolate mousse layer. Smooth the top with an offset spatula. Return the cake to the refrigerator and chill until set, at least 2 1/2 hours. (The cake can be refrigerated up to 1 day; let it sit at room temperature for 45 mins before releasing the cake from the pan and serving)

To serve the cake

Garnish the top with chocolate curls. Run a thin knife arougn teh inside of the springform pan;remove the side of the pan. Smooth the side of the the cake witha clean knife. Cut into slices and serve.

Recipe courtesy of America's Test Kitchen

Layered, hope

Chocolate Tease

2010-02-10T15:23:00.000-08:00

In preparation for Valentines Day, I baked a Chocolate Cake. In the spirit of things I was pretty excited because it is not often that I even find a recipe that interests me. So this was, in itself, an occasion. As I heated, melted, whipped and baked the first layer of my Triple Chocolate Cake there was a knock on my door.

I love unexpected guests, drop-ins and almost any type of visitor there is and by the sound of the door my day was only getting better. Inviting the guest in, I prepared tea and we gibber-jabbered over our lives. In light of my good mood, I decided to share the partially made cake and "whip up" another one later in the day. Even though the cake wasn't quite ready it was the "warm-out-of-the-oven chocolate" that takes your breath away and satisfies every hormone in your body. Yums.

Later on that evening I baked the second time around with a little bit more confidence. I patiently waited for it to cool as we had dinner with the family and lovingly prepared the mousse. It needed to set for a couple of hours and I was okay with it because of my previous indulgence.

I love new recipes, I also think that it is the only time that I actually enjoy the food going into my mouth so I was pretty excited to eat my cake late into the night, with my tea and my T.V. The satisfaction I get out of calories and laziness is a pleasure I work hard for. It was just one of those days when I wanted chocolate and a lot of it.

Well, it turned out that it wasn't just me that had this urge and when we were out of the house I found out that my dear sister-in-law took my cake to her party. This seemed a little over the top, but just as fast as I was surprised I felt it was also a compliment. Here's the email that inspired this post.

Nadia, I am not surprised the most amazing cake i have ever tasted came from your kitchen!!! I gotta say though that I felt pretty bad that (some one) decided she would take almost all of it. You gotta let me make it up to you :) Ill make you one of my tastiest creations but there is a catch...we have to exchange recipes. I just have to make that chocolate goodness for my mom and prove to her one more time that, I can too bake!! hehe :) Thank you so much Nadia it was delicious.

So that's the whole length of the story and for my one big fan I will be posting the recipe tomorrow.

Humbled, hope

The Chair

2010-02-08T22:29:00.000-08:00

In the midst of all the junk, the broken and used. It stood out like no other object there and as I approached the chair, I was completely amazed. It would be a perfect fit in my home. Without any delay I dragged the chair with one arm and the three kids in the other until suddenly, it dawned on me. Was this chair some thing we needed or some thing I wanted? WANT. I knew that from the top of my head we had at least 15 chairs downstairs, but what was one more, Right? A little voice inside my head urged me to put the chair down and this time I listened. Right where I was walking, I set it down and didn't even look back. Little did I know that three days later when I returned for my chair, it would be half off. Little did I know that it would wait for me, just as I had left it. Patient for it's rightful owner. That day, I paid seven dollars for a chair at Salvation Army as well as remind myself that it pays to wait.

Patient, hope.

Kitchen Necessities

2010-02-03T19:40:00.001-08:00

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. If its not dinner guests, then it's friends for lunch or simple conversation over tea. We throw parties, we hold events and more then not we host holidays. Food is always coming and going just as much as people are. This means preparation (it doesn't just land there ) and a kitchen that holds the proper necessities. Now, I know that I have more then perhaps what is required and with the recent purchase of a baking book I was intrigued when I found a list for it.

Baking list:
The small stuff......the stuff I flip through in catalogs and wonder if people put use into them.

Measuring spoons. "Check".
Measuring cups, for both dry measures and liquid measures. "Check", as of a week ago.
Icecream scoops in various sizes, from 1/2 inch to 2 inches. I have one, so "Incomplete".
Rolling pin. "Check", I think I might have 2.
Wire whisks, small and medium. I have a medium one, so "incomplete".....again.
Off set spatulas. Large, for frosting and small, for cookies and other tasks. "Check, Check!"
Heat resistant Silicone spatula, for hot mixures. "Check" BTW, very important.
Wooden spatula. "Check....."
Large metal (barbecue type) spatula. "Check".
Ruler. "Check".
Nonstick baking liner (such as silpat brand). The best purchase EVER! But I need a new one.
Parchment paper. I didn't know that this is not the same as Wax paper....I learned. "Check".
Mixing bowls in assorted sizes. "Check".
Sieves, medium and fine mesh. The fine mesh one is in almost every recipe! who knew? "Need".
Cookie cutters, plain and fluted, round and other shapes, in various sizes. I have a ton of playdough cutters....so "check" until further notice.
Knives, chef's, paring, and serrated. My ONE knife is my best friend. "Kershaw" Rocks.
Microplane or other rasp-type grater (for citrus and nutmeg). "Need". I always just used the reg.
Citrus juicer, handheld reamer or electric. I have both. Nothing beats fresh squeezed OJ.
Pastry blender for making doughs (if you don't have a stand mixer). "Check".
Metal or plastic pastry scraper. I don't know what this is....Help, Wickapedia, Help!
Pastry brush. "Check". If paint brushes count.
Disposable pastry bags and star and plain pastry tips. "Check" but it's not disposable.
Thermometers, instant and candy. I gave away the candy one and now I need one.....sucks.
Slotted spoons. "Check"
Short-handled tongs. "Check".
Sugar shaker. Hmmmm. I have a small sieve. Does any one know the difference?
Plastic airtight containers (for storing cookies and such) "No" We don't usually have leftovers....because I will eat them all, really.

Well, that does it. And it looks like I have a list on my hands. All in all though, I thought this was a great starting point to my kitchen. I like focus and direction because there are many times when my eyes wander off to other things that are shiny and nice, so it's good to know the difference from the things that are important from the things that are not.

It's time to look into those drawers, happy finding.

"Check", hope.

Saveur Soup

2010-01-27T22:44:00.000-08:00

Today's recipe is a request made by "Genius" because it is a recipe that our kids won't eat but we love. This soup has been a keeper in my books and perhaps it will make it to yours......

French Onion Soup

Recipe courtesy of Saveur Magazine:

1 cup white wine
1⁄2 cup plus 3 tbsp. sherry
10 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. sugar
3 large yellow onions, thinly sliced
Kosher salt and black pepper, to taste
6 sprigs flat-leaf parsley
6 sprigs thyme
2 fresh bay leaves
2 qts. Beef Stock
12 1⁄2"-thick slices baguette
2 cloves garlic, smashed
6 cups grated gruyère cheese
2 cups finely grated parmigiano-reggiano

1. Heat oven to 425°. Combine wine, 1⁄2 cup of the sherry, 8 tbsp. of the butter, sugar, onions, and salt and pepper in a 9" × 13" casserole dish and braise, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until the onions just begin to brown, 40–45 minutes. Remove casserole from oven, cover with foil, and continue braising in oven, stirring occasionally, until caramelized, about 1 hour more. Keep the onions warm.

2. Meanwhile, tie parsley, thyme, and bay leaves together with kitchen twine to make a bouquet garni. Put bouquet garni and stock into a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, partially covered, for 30 minutes. Remove and discard bouquet garni. Stir in remaining sherry and cook for 5 minutes more.

3. While the broth simmers, spread the baguette slices with the remaining butter. Toast in a skillet over medium heat, turning once, until golden, 5–7 minutes. Rub the slices generously with garlic and set aside. Discard any remaining garlic.

4. Heat broiler with rack 6" from element. Arrange 6 heatproof bowls on a foil-lined sheet tray, divide onions and broth between bowls, and stir together. Place 2 baguette slices in each bowl; top each with about 1 cup gruyère and about 1⁄3 cup parmigiano. Broil until cheeses are browned and bubbly, 3–5 minutes. Serve immediately.

Love it, hope.